Sweet Right Here II
by bkerbunny
Summary: Story complete...Sequel to Sweet Right Here...Mark and Chey are back and they've got new battles on their hands. One's life hangs in the balance the other fights to remain in the picture. Will their love win out?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer - _I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom ever had been... I only take credit for thos you don't know.  
_Rated- _M for the adult content in the story  
_Summary- _Sequel to Sweet Right Here... Three years after the first installment. The story of Cheyenne and Mark continues. What new trials and tribulations will be thrown their way?  
_A/N- _Long and awaited and I hope that I can get the same people into this story that was into the last one... Not only that but I'm hoping to take the Mary Sue out of this story... By the way it's been so long since I posted anything new I wasa little nervous for putting this up... Thanks to DreamingEgypt for Beta-ing this one for me...  
Please Read and Review  
Thanks  
Stacy

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Chapter 1

"Good afternoon, Cheyenne. How are you feeling today?" Looking up from the spot on the tiled floor, I glance at Dr. Rice. I feel my heart stop beating for a second as it looks to me like he is forcing the smile that he is flashing my way.

Heaving a sigh, I wring my hands nervously together. "That depends." I answer him honestly. I had no idea what the results were of the test, but from the look on his face, it wasn't what I was hoping for.

Dr. Rice nodded his head. His facial expression appearing to be filled with mixed emotions. "Well." He sighed sitting down on the small rolling chair next to the table I was perched on. "The test results came back yesterday." He started, looking up into my eyes.

When he didn't continue my hope sank. I couldn't help but think that he was searching for the right words to tell me that my life as I knew it was indeed over. But then again, I had to hear him say it. I needed him to say the words that I had been dreading to hear for weeks. I had told no one of the possibilities that lay ahead of me. I had not even mentioned that I had seen a doctor. I didn't want anyone knowing until I knew, and yet the good doctor wasn't telling me anything yet. "And?"

Dr. Rice glanced away from me. It was only a mili-second, but I had seen his eyes shift. I had seen the grim look flash across his features and then as his gaze came back to me. I watched it dissipate into something that looked more to me like hopelessness. "It's positive." He answered, leaning forward in his chair.

Walking numbly from my doctors office, I couldn't seem to get my thoughts together. How could it be that the test was positive? How can my life just be starting and ending at the same time? Dr. Rice had told me to keep my head up, that once he gets the next set of blood back he will be able to tell me more and answer more of my questions. He told me to keep doing what I was doing, that there was no need to change my life just yet. But, how can I? How can I face Mark? How can I face my life when I don't know where it's going?

Suddenly my phone on my hip started ringing, bringing me from my thoughts. Unclipping it from my belt I didn't bother to look at the screen before answering.

"Chey? Princess are you ok?" Marks gravely voice filled the small metal object at my ear making me cringe. I couldn't talk to him. Not now. Not yet. I wasn't ready.

"I'm fine." I sigh heavily into the phone hoping he didn't press me about the issue. I couldn't answer him even if I wanted to.

I was wrong. "Darlin' are you sure? You don't sound like yourself. Where are you?" The questions just seemed to roll from him and I wasn't in any mood to answer them.

"Mark, I'm fine. I had an appointment this morning." I answer, a little more curt than I probably would've if I really wanted to discuss my morning.

"Chey, what is wrong with you? Why are you getting short with me?" He growled at me. "You didn't tell me about an appointment and you didn't even wake me before you left."

I could feel the anger in me rise at his tone of voice and I stopped walking right behind my car. NOW was not the time. I didn't need any of this shit right now. "Look, Mark, I didn't realize you were my Daddy or my keeper for that matter. I didn't know I had to start checking in with you when I felt the need to go somewhere!"

"Princess, what the FUCK is wrong with you all of a sudden? What happened to the woman I was with last night? Where did all this shit come from? What did I do wrong?"

Nothing. That's the thing, I didn't either. Everything was fine before I went to the doctor and he didn't do anything to deserve the way I was treating him. He didn't deserve to be with a woman that didn't even know what was going on inside of her own body. He needed a life full of laughter and I had promised him that. Now I wasn't so sure how long I could keep that promise, if even at all. "You know what, Mark? I can't answer any of those questions right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Damn it, Chey! Don't hang up! Talk to me, what's wrong?" He pleaded, his voice straining for control. I know he doesn't understand… but I don't either. The sound of his voice agitated me beyond belief, and I didn't know why. "Cheyenne, this isn't like you. You would never blow up for nothing. What happened today? What was your appointment about?"

I feel the tears welling up in the back of my throat, threatening to choke the life from me. I want to tell him… I do… but, I just can't bring myself to say the words. How do you tell someone that you had just agreed to share you life with, that you just found out that you have cancer? How do you tell him that the life you talked about the day before wasn't going to be what you thought it was? That I might not be around to see you in your rocking chair. Or to grow old with you. How do you drop that bomb on someone?

Swallowing the lump in my throat I snap my phone shut on him and raise my teary eyes to the bright sun above me. Almost immediately my phone rings again. I know it's him. I know he's angry. But, so am I. I don't want to die! I want to be sick! I don't want him to have to sit back and watch me suffer through Chemo treatments and radiation. No one should have to watch a loved one go through that.

Flipping my phone open I push the button to send him to voicemail. I need to disappear. I know the doctor said that the second test results would tell me more, but I can't help but fear the worst. A lot of the women in my family have suffered and lost the battle with cancer. Granted, I'm not really sure what type of cancer I have, but either way, it's not good. I've watched a few of my friends and family suffer through it and I've seen some of them survive, but does that mean I will.

Again my phone is ringing. Can't he take a fuckin' hint? Doesn't he know I just wanna be left alone? Snatching my phone from my hip I flip it back open and hit the little green button to answer his call. Instantly his voice charges at me as he hurtles words of pain and anguish. Not bothering to listen anymore, I lean down and place the phone directly under my tire and walk over to the door and as I unlock it I allow fresh tears to flow down my face. There is no way I would allow him to suffer with me. He needs more than what I can give, and my prayers are on the fact that he will one day understand my decision.

Climbing into the drivers seat of my car, I put the keys in the ignition and put the car in reverse. I would love nothing more at this point than to throw the car back in park and jump out to tell him it was all a big misunderstanding. That it was PMS making me act out and that I wouldn't let it happen again. But I know it isn't that easy. I'm sick and he will be all alone in the end anyway. Better to do it now than to know that I will be leaving him in short while anyway, right?

Easing my foot from the break petal I can hear the phone crunching under my tire. What's done is done and I know I can never go back to the way things used to be. My life as I know it is over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom used to be.. I only own the ones that are people that don't really exist.  
A/N- _It was so great to get everyones reviews on the first chapter. You don't realize what they mean to me.. Sweet Right Here was my first fanfiction ever and too know that you all have come back for the sequel means the world. Thank you guys. I especially like that you are asking me about You Were Right There For ME... I will tell you that the next chapter is halfway done. I am back to working on it, I've gotten enough emails in the past few days to know that Katlyn is missed and needs to make a comeback... so she is on her way, never fear. Again I have to thank Dreaming Egypt for reading through this and helping me work out the kinks. She is also helping me find my way again with the other one and she has indeed become a blessing to me and my writting. Egypt you have become a great friend and I appreciate you!  
Please Review!_**

**_Stacy_**

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Chapter 2

After pulling out of the hospital parking lot, I could feel the tears welling up inside of me. What was I doing? Where was I going? I couldn't go home, that would be the first place Mark, Vince and all the others would look for me. I know Vince will be angry for my disappearance, hell I was on a five year contract with the federation. He is surely going to try and hall my ass into court for breaching that contract, but you know what? I don't care any more.

Everything that I've ever worked for in life was for nothing. Here I'd spent all that time busting my ass to lose all the weight so that I could be healthy. For what? What good did it do me? Why did I get so involved in a love and a career and plan so far in advance? So that it could all come crashing down on me. I should've known everything was going too damn good. Was there something I could've done to prevent this? Did I do something wrong to the man upstairs?

Pulling my car over to the side of the road, I couldn't stop the anger that washed it's way over me. It was so strong and over powering that I found myself beating the steering wheel in front of me. I felt so disconnected from my body. Like it wasn't even me that it was happening to, but then the pain in my heart felt real. The anger that rushed through my veins was real. WHY! Damn it! Why me? Why now? After my early years being so rough, with the physical and mental abuse, couldn't the rest of my life gone easier? Why did I only get a few years of happiness?

Rubbing my fists into my eyes, I want to scream out. I want to hurt something and make it feel the pain that is choking me and making me sob so uncontrollably. I want out. Out and away from the hurt that is blinding me and taking away my ability to reason with myself.

Suddenly there is a knock at my window. Jumping I reluctantly pull my hands from my eyes to peer over at the person that is intruding on my mental break down. Noticing a uniform I hit the button and lower the window. What now?

"Miss are you ok?" The officer asks me.

Nodding my head, I swallow hard and try and fight the urge to plead for his help. "I'm fine, officer." I reply hoping he would leave before I lost what was left of my pride.

His face looked uncertain. "You sure? You look rather upset. Are you in need of some assistance?" He prodded.

Shaking my head I place a smile on my face, one that I don't feel in my heart. I'm sure the officer could tell it was forced, but I didn't want to bring anymore unneeded attention to myself before I could get away. "I'm fine. Really. I just got a little emotional, is all." I reply hoping he doesn't want any more information.

Nodding his head he stands upright and peers down his nose at me. "I commend you for pulling over while you were upset miss, but this is busy highway and if you are ok now, I suggest you get moving and get yourself home. It isn't safe being on the side of the road like this and all alone."

Swallowing down the thick lump in my throat, I thank the good officer and roll my window back into place and pull into the oncoming traffic of the highway.

Home. The good samaritan officer told me to go home, but I don't know where that is anymore. Hell, I didn't even know where I was anymore. I don't have a clue how far I've driven or in what direction I was going when my car had steered itself onto the side of the road. All I know right now is that I gotta get away. I gotta find something to take my mind off of what was happening to me. Somewhere safe to take me away from the memories that were chasing me down the road and haunting me of happier times.

I don't want to think of the long nights, of the past three years, where Mark and I had found ourselves laying awake and talking into the early morning light. I couldn't keep reminding myself of all of the plans and dreams that we shared quietly together. I don't want to think about the other times when talking was the last thing on our minds, just he and I in a darkened room touching, feeling, and whispering words of endearment. How I will miss those nights. Even if I didn't leave, last night would always have been our final night together in that way.

"OH GOD!"

I know I screamed it. I felt it when it broke free from my chest and I can hear it echoing back to me from the hollowness in my car. I'm scared. What am I going to do? I need something. Something to hold me and tell me that it's ok, that I'm only dreaming and when I wake up I'll be fine. That the cancer isn't real and that I won't be suffering when it is all said and done. That I won't have to be in pain before I die. That Mark and I will grow old together and life will continue to be all that I've ever wanted or dreamed it could be. I don't really want to be alone. Not right now. I don't want to be in my last moments of life and not be surrounded by the people I love.

Steering my car to the closest off ramp I pull off the main highway and follow the signs along the side of the road to the nearest gas station. As I pull up I park my car in front of the payphones and jump out, not even bothering to turn off the engine. Running to the phone I punch the zero for the operator, using the sleeve of my sweatshirt to clear the snot from under my nose.

"Operator, how may I direct your call?"

I can feel the panic taking me over as I listened to her voice, it wasn't the one that I needed now though. I needed to hear Marti's voice. Marti- the one man that understood me better than anyone in my entire family, the only one that I can think of that can help me now.

"Operator, can you please tell me the nature of your call, please."

"Y-Yes, I need to place a c-collect c-call please." I stutter then give her the number.

As I wait it feels like an eternity passes. Why isn't someone answering the phone? Is everything OK at home?

"Ma'am I'm sorry but no one is answering at that number. Do you have another number you'd like to try?"

"NO.. NO. Please can you try the number again. Someone has to be there." I plead with her.

"Sure, I'll try again."

With my hand on the side of the booth, I can't stand still as I wait. The dreadful pull of my panic making me want to run faster growing stronger with each passing moment. "Please Marti… You have to pick up!" I sob out loud into the receiver.

"Ma'am your call has been connected."

"Cheyenne? What's going on, Princess? Where are you?" Marti's voice sounded thick with sleep and worry.

"I don't know! I'm so scared Marti." I sob, closing my eyes to the pain. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want to understand it. Help me."

"Chey, baby, what's the matter? Tell me where you are?" His voice sounded alarmed and I hated the feeling it gave me. It frightened me even more.

"I-I'm at a gas station. I-It's over Marti… Everything is… is over." I can't get the words out. I wanna tell him… but I don't want to actually say the words. If I say the words out loud then it'll make it true and I don't want it to be true.

I can hear Marti sigh on the other end of the line. "Chey, I don't know what happened between you and Mark, but he's been calling here worried sick…"

"NO!" I scream, dancing in frustration in front of the phone. "I-it isn't him. I-It's me Marti. Can't you see? I'm all fucked up! I… I'm not going to get better. At least… I don't know if I will or not."

"Wait. Princess, what are you talking about? You aren't making sense to me." He asks me his voice sounding concerned. "What's wrong with you?"

Rubbing my nose along my sleeve again, I try to clean some of the snot from my upper lip to keep it from mixing with my tears and running into my mouth. "God, Marti. What have I done for this to happen? I've always tried to be a g-good person. I just don't understand w-why?"

"Why what, baby? You are talking in tongues here. Tell me what's wrong."

"I c-can't say it. If I tell you then it makes it all the more real. Can't you see that? P-Please, M-Marti, can you take it all away?" I ask hoping he'd just say yes so that I could find my way home and to all the things familiar to me. I didn't want to run, but now that I have I need a reason to turn and face the issue at hand and I needed him to help me do that.

"Baby, I can't take it away unless you tell me what it is. Look, find out where you are, I'll come and get you. Hell, if it's too far, I'll get Mark to come and see you home."

It was useless. No body could help me. I would be all alone in the fight for my life. I needed Marti to understand, but he wouldn't open his eyes and see the big picture, and hell if I wanted Mark I wouldn't have left Nashville. Didn't common sense tell him at least that much? Wouldn't he know that I would've stayed and let him waist away his time while watching me wither away into nothing.

"Cheyenne, please talk to me baby. Where are you?" Marti pleaded.

Shaking my head I looked back to my car sitting idle behind me. It was time to go. "I'm sorry to have woken you up at such a late hour Marti…."

"Chey, please don't do this… don't hang up."

I know I was beyond reason, but I felt a numbness wash over me. A sudden strength to face the fear myself… or at least enough vigor to try and make him believe I would be fine. It would be short lived, this I knew from the time I'd spent in the car, but it was time to end the conversation and move forward. "I'll be fine, Marti. I promise. Don't worry about me."

As I remove the phone from my ear I can hear him screaming at me to hang on and talk to him, but I couldn't do that to him, anymore than I could with Mark. It was crazy how all of a sudden I realized in one second that I wouldn't want people to remember me as I struggled, but to remember me alive and well. No matter how hard it would be, until I knew for certain what destiny held in my future, I would not let those around me suffer too. If it is my time to go then I know they would forget about me in time, and they would be able to live happily and not be taken down by my fate. That in itself is enough to keep me away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom used to be.. I only own the ones that are people that don't really exist.  
A/N- WOW... You guys are really awesome. The compliments make me blush. I'm so glad that you have come back to see where they are now. This cancer thing has me tackeling real emotions and in a BAD situation. You've made me happy to know that you guys are getting the intense emotions... They are hard forme to write, so that is the reason behind long updates... that and I am back working on a few other Fics. Again, Thank You for all the reviews! And for those reading and not reviewing, I thank you too!  
Stacy**

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Chapter 3

I don't know how long I had sat there after getting off the phone with Marti… But it seemed like an eternity. I just sat there. No emotions. No thoughts. Just the numbness that had washed over me while I was on the phone. It was almost as if my soul had decided to desert being with my physical form. Like she felt it would be better for her to sit quietly beside me in the front of the car and try to soothe me another way. I could almost hear her distant voice, cooing at me, telling me it'll all be ok. I could almost feel the stroke of her hand over the back of my head in a comforting caress.

But I was slowly coming back together, and reality was pushing it's angry hand at me. The sky had grown darker. My car still sat idling. And I was still sitting in front of the payphone I had used to call Marti. How long had I been there? What was I waiting on? Marti to call me back? Someone to fight me in my decision? No one was around. It's just me.

Jumping from my car, I ran over to the pay phone and tanding under the streetlight, I picked up the phone and pressed 0 for the operator again. It felt like Deja Vu as I gave her the number and listened to her tell me that my call has been connected.

"Cheyenne?" Marti's voice gently questioned through the receiver at my ear.

Nodding, I swallow the fear that had leapt up into my throat at the sound of his voice. "Yeah.. It's me." I choked.

I could hear him sighing on the other end of the line. "What's going on, princess? You've got me so worried."

Warm tears prickled my eyes as they fell from my lashes, the words I dreaded to say trapped inside the lump in my throat. My heart questioning my reasoning of telling him this news over the phone. How would he react?

"Cheyenne? Whatever is going on, baby girl, you know you can tell me." Marti pleaded with me.

"I'm sorry. I know… It-it's just don't know what to do anymore, Marti. I don't know where to go or even where I am. I'm lost…" I explained brokenly. "I don't want to ruin anybody else's lives over my problems."

"What can I do?"

Closing my eyes, I pray to God to give me strength. "I just need you here with me." I admitted for the first time. Relief flooding me almost instantly. There I said it. I. Need. Someone.

"Tell me where you are. I'll be on the first flight out."

His voice sounded pleading, excited about doing this simple thing that I asked of him. He had no idea what was going on with me, and yet he was willing to drop everything to 'save me'. But there was a dilemma…I didn't know where I was. I hadn't paid any attention to state signs or any of that bullshit while I drove, and I had no idea how long I had stayed behind the wheel before I pulled off. "I… don't know where I am, Marti. All I know is that I am at a gas station somewhere." I admitted, looking around me for any sign or clue as to where I was. Hope was coming back to me now. My best friend was coming to help me.

"Chey, you're at a phone booth, right?" He asked quickly.

"Yeah."

"Is there a phone book around?"

Looking down I see the phone book dangling from the bottom of the phone casing. Why didn't I think of that? Picking it up I gasp. How in the hell did I get here. "I'm in Jasper, Indiana." I say aloud, more thinking it than telling Marti where to find me.

"WHAT? Baby girl, how in the blue hell did you end up there?" Marti's voice boomed through the phone. "That's over three hours away from Nashville."

My chin quivered as fresh emotions came over me. He was upset with me now and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. "I don't know." I whine. "I was just driving and I didn't know what else to do, or where to go..."

"I'm sorry, Princess, don't get upset on me again." Marti sighed. "You've got me so worried…Look, I need you to find a hotel, and call Beth the minute you check in. I will call her when I land and get the details from her. Can you do that for me, baby girl?"

Nodding, I wipe the tears from my face… Feeling happy that help would be on it's way. I hear muffled voices in the background and Marti telling that person to call him. Who is him? Is he telling someone to call Mark? "Marti, wait!" I yell into the phone, panic over coming the little resolve that I had gained. "Promise me you won't tell Mark where I am! I don't want him here! Please, Marti, don't tell him."

The other end of the line stayed silent for a moment before Marti finally spoke. "Princess, he is worried sick. He's gotten to the point of threatening me, to get me to tell him where you are. I promised him I'd call the minute I knew you were safe."

"Then that is all you will tell him, Marti. You call him tell him that I called and that I'm fine. That he doesn't need to worry anymore. Promise me… or I will get back in the car and you'll never hear from me again." I screamed. It was childish, even in my own mind. I sounded like spoiled brat trying to get her way. But, my sanity didn't need the hassle of Mark. Didn't need his overbearing ways. Didn't want him to be faced with my sickness. It was going to be hard enough to face Marti and tell him, let alone if I had to explain it all to Mark, too. "Damn it, Marti… PLEASE. Please do this for me."

"Ok. OK. I promise… as long as you promise not to take off again." He bargained.

"Deal." I agreed. I hated doing that to Marti. Sticking him between Mark and I, but I'm not ready to face him yet. I'm not ready to see or hear his pain. That would be the final straw for me. Seeing his steely green eyes fixed on me, his anger swirling to the surface, accusing me. I can already hear the anguish in his voice as he ranted and raved at me. No I wasn't ready. Not by a long shot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer- I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom used to be.. I only own the ones that are people that don't really exist.  
A/N-**_ Well, Im tring to catch up guys. This story is so emotional I hope that all of you can make this journey with me. I had a friend take a break from her own writing, Texeljay.. to Beta this for me. I feel with the amount of emotions that are pouring through I need someone to keep me in line and make sure I don't go over board. Thanks Jay! I hope that you guys are still with me.. You are the ones that have made me the writer I am today. Enjoy  
As always Please Review  
Stacy_

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Chapter 4

Sitting down on the bed, I glance around the motel room. I had already called Marti's wife Beth and gave her the details of where I was. God bless her, I wanted to tell her what was going on as she questioned me. She kept referring back to the times while I was in training when she helped me. She mentioned the time that I had hurt my ankle in my match with John and she had agreed to come out to the house to help me with my therapy. I still couldn't get the words out. I sat and I listened, yet the words failed me.

She sounded so hurt. Talked to me about Mark and how he was upset over the fact that I had agreed to marry him, then ran off without a trace. She said that he cried on the phone with her. Told her that he didn't know what he had done, that he thought I was the one. That he had finally found the woman to help him enjoy the rest of his life. I had thought that too. I wanted to be the one. I wanted to live out the rest of my life in his arms, letting him cherish me and put me up on that pedestal that he had seemed to want to keep me on.

But it's done.

I made the choice to turn my back on all of that. On three years of living my life with him. Beside him. To save him the pain of what I was about to go through. To allow him to move on with his life and hopefully find someone even better than me. Someone that won't be sick, or won't run when things get tough.

Curling up in a ball, I have nothing left in me. No more tears, no more words. I get flashes of my happy life. Finally losing weight. Deciding to wrestle. My first match in front of an audience. Meeting Mark and the rest of the guys from the WWE. The friendships. Marti. My family… a coffin.

Jumping up from the bed, I feel the fear envelop me. I have to escape. To run. I don't want that. I can't be living out the rest of my life now. This cancer can't be real. Can it? Somewhere along the way they have misdiagnosed me. I feel fine. I'm not sick. I'm just me. Cheyenne.

Pacing the room, I search for answers in my mind. Answers that might help me cope with the fact that I don't feel strong enough to battle this disease. I can't lose my hair, my health… fade away into nothing. I am somebody, damn it! I am a living breathing human being that does not want to lose myself to something I don't have control over.

WHY? Why does this happen to people?

Swallowing down the scream lodged in my throat, I bring my hands to my hair and back myself into a corner. I feel so small, so helpless. The giant world around me is closing in.

Suddenly I see Marti out of the corner of my eye. Turning my face in his direction he is standing in the doorway, frozen. His arm outstretched, his face full of fear and questions. His bag is dangling from his fingertips. Do I look that bad?

Sliding down the wall, I close my eyes and let the scream go. What is happening to me? I can't breathe. I can't see through the tears. I hear a voice. I can feel warm arms surrounding me. I don't want it. I want to be ok. Swatting at them, I shake my head. I don't need it. In my mind I'm begging him to leave me alone again. Let me find my own way out of this.

Reaching out for him I wrap my arms around him tight. I feel my body leave the floor and then be placed down in his lap. I can't speak. I can't get myself together enough to make him understand what I need from him.

Clenching my eyes closed I let go. I let go of every emotion that is raging through my body, until I am a sagging heap in Marti's lap. I now have nothing left… But my best friend is with me now…

Opening my eyes, I have to blink at the onslaught of light coming in to the room. I can hear someone talking and I roll my body over to look in the direction that I hear their hushed voice. I can make out him saying something about not knowing and being at a loss.

Moaning I bring my hands up to my aching head. "It wasn't a dream then?" I ask him, my voice husky and deep from sleep and I can assume from the screaming I had done the night before.

The bed I'm lying on dips, and Marti is smoothing his hand over my hair. "No, baby girl, not a dream." He answers. I can hear his pain. Feel his distance from my own thoughts and my tears start all over again. "Shhh… Baby girl, I'm here now." I know he is trying to re-assure me but it doesn't help the hurt I feel inside.

"I have cancer, Marti." I blurt, tired of holding it in.

His hand stops mid stroke on my head, his body tenses enough to jerk the bed. Suddenly he moves in behind me. His arms wrapping around me. He doesn't say anything, cause what can he say to that? It was a harsh reality. My reality.

"I don't want to die." I tell him, wrapping my arms around his arms. "I don't want to be sick."

The back of my shirt becomes wet. His body is shaking behind me. This was not what I want. I need my rock. I need the Marti that could solve all of my problems and make all the bad stuff go away. But his arms hold me tight, comfort me enough to ease some of the pain. Knowing that someone else knows allows me to breath through the large lump that had decided to permanently lodge itself into my throat.

"I need your help." I plead. "I need you here with me."

"I'll be here. No matter what." His voice is shaking. His arms feel like they are trying to take away my pain.

Rolling over, I look up at him. "Thank you." I breath, knowing he would never break that promise to me.

"What… what kind of cancer is it?"

Looking up into his face, I see him struggling with the news. "I don't know yet." I tell him honestly. "They have taken more samples and blood from me so that they can try and pin point it."

"When will you hear something?" He asks trying to get some information.

"Dr. Rice says that he is going to put a rush on it. Hopefully no later than tomorrow. Only thing is, he can't get in touch with me now. I don't have a phone anymore."

"We can call his office and give them my number." He suggests, getting up from the bed and grabbing his phone. Handing it over to me, he looks at me expectantly.

Dropping the phone I sit up on the bed and wrap my arms around my knees. I don't want to know. If I don't know then it can't hurt me… Right?

"Cheyenne, you need to call… what if they already have the results back?"

Wiping at my wet face, I can't stop my thoughts from going back to Mark. To my lifelong dream of loving someone that loved me back just as much. "Is Mark… is he OK?" I ask, knowing it was either him or Beth that he was on the phone with.

Looking at the crumpled sheets on the bed, my mind wonders back to all the mornings we woke up in each other's arms. The wrinkles around his eyes when he would smile down at me and run a finger over my face. He was always the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. I missed it already. Even after I signed on with the WWE, we always traveled together. From that first night we made love until yesterday, we were never apart from each other for long. It was like I needed him almost as much as I needed air to breathe. And apparently I still did.

Marti sits down next to me on the bed, his hand covering my one of my knees. "He is worried about you, princess. We all are. Vince has been calling. Beth. Everyone has been blowing up my phone wanting to know if you are ok." He admits.

Suddenly his phone rings. Looking down at it, I pull my knees tighter to my chest just as he reaches down and plucks it from the bed.

"Hello?" He answers, his face telling me then that it is Mark. "Yeah… I'm with her…"

Getting up from the bed, I walk into the bathroom and close the door. Leaning back against it I look up at the ceiling and pray. I pray for forgiveness and the will to make it through.

A knock at the door startles me and I move away from it. "Cheyenne, I need to tell Vince what's going on, honey." He tells me through the door. "He will understand."

Sitting down on the toilet, I place my head in my hands. It won't end until I face it, will it? "Go ahead, Marti… just tell him I'm not ready to see anyone." And then his deep voice moves away again.

How is it that dreams end so fast? I'm not dead yet, and though it feels like that I'm moving there faster than I ever thought possible. Granted the doctors haven't issued the warrant yet, but just like what almost everyone else that had been diagnosed must think, it sure felt like it. It used to be that people with cancer had no hope. What was done was done. You were told it was cancer and there was nothing that they could do about it. Today the mortality rate was down. People were surviving… did that mean I would?

Sighing, I pull myself back together and walk out into the room to face Marti to get the verdict. It wasn't Mark he was on the phone with, it was Vince… even worse.

"Everything is fine. I'm to keep him posted and he'll make sure that you are left alone until you're ready." He informs me while packing up his bag. "Let's go get some breakfast, and then I'll drive you home."

Nodding my head, I sit down on the end of the bed and pull my shoes on. No use in packing up my own bag, cause I don't have it. I had left it with the rest of my belongings with Mark. He has everything with him, that is of any value to me… Including himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer - ****_I don't own anyone affiliated with the WWE or whom ever had been... I only take credit for thos you don't know.  
_Rated- ****_M for the adult content in the story  
_Summary- ****_Sequel to Sweet Right Here... Three years after the first installment. The story of Cheyenne and Mark continues. What new trials and tribulations will be thrown their way?  
_A/N-_ This story like the first installment is taking on a life of it's own. Emotionally it's very taxing and I'm enjoying tackling something so tender and sensitive as Cancer.. It's something I didn't think I could do, but thanks to Egypt and texeljay for encouragement andto texeljay for being a great BETA for me! Your reviews have left me speachless. I am surprised at the amount of emotions that you guys are taking with you from this journey. Thanks to all of your faith, trust and support. To hear things like "your writting has grown", makes me feel so good. THANK YOU!  
Please Review!_**

**_Stacy

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Chapter 5

Opening the car door, I look over at Marti briefly before moving toward the building that housed Dr. Rice's office. Marti had finally convinced me to make the call to his office while we were on the road. He had told me that the results were back, and that I needed to meet him in his office. I agreed and told Marti we had to stop before going the rest of the way home.

After walking in and signing in, Marti and I find a seat in the waiting room and sit quietly watching a few children playing with toys on the floor. It occurs to me then that even if I survive I may never know the joys of bringing a child into this world. Sure, Mark and I had never discussed the possibility of raising a family together… but, he already had his children, would he have even wanted one with me?

Reaching over, I pick Marti's hand up from his lap, intertwining our fingers together and I lay my head on his shoulder. I know I can't face this on my own. I can't go in to that office and hear the results without him there with me. He kisses my hair, as if to let me know he's there. "I need you to go in there with me." My voice is shaky and I know my hands are clammy.

"Are you sure?" He asks me, his voice low.

Nodding my head without lifting it up, I squeeze his hand tighter. "I'm through trying to do this alone. I need your support and I need someone else to help me figure out where I go from here. Depending on the news there might be too much information for me to remember."

"Then I'll be there." He tells me, the note in his voice seems to be one of resolve.

Seconds later the nurse opens the door and calls me back. Marti stays on my heels as we enter the doctors' private office. No exam room with a table and a rolling chair, this was formal, decisive. "Good Morning, Cheyenne." He greets me with a warm smile as he stands from his leather chair to shake my hand.

"Good Morning, Dr. Rice." I reply back. Turning I place a hand on the shoulder next to me. "Dr. Rice this is my best friend, Marti Janetti."

Marti and the good doctor shake hands and then he asks us to be seated. Opening the vanilla folder on his desk, Dr Rice folds his hands in front of him and looks over the papers that lay before him. "Well, Cheyenne… The results weren't really what I was hoping for." He tells me honestly, his face like a stone wall as he looks up at me. "It is Ovarian Cancer."

Shifting in my seat, I swallow hard trying to fight the tears. I can't speak. What does this mean? Where do I go from here? Hot tears prickle my eyes, and I blink trying to hold them back, but they betray me and fall anyway. Slumping down in my chair, I stare out into space and try to block out the voices of the people around me. How can this be? What did I do to deserve this?

"Cheyenne…" Dr. Rice sighs. I can tell by his voice that he is upset about this too. He had been my doctor while on the road for two years. It just so happened that every time my check up was due I was in his area and he was the one I went to. I probably would've come to him before my regular doctor anyway. I liked him. He was a very personal doctor and took the time to get to know his clients and he dealt with several of the other girls in the WWE, which is why I went to him in the first place. He came highly recommended and my fellow female cohorts said they had also mentioned giving up their own private physicians for him. "I know this is a lot to take in. But Ovarian Cancer is treatable. We have a high success rate with survival from this type of cancer." He informs me.

"What… What do we do now?" Marti asks, reaching for my hand and giving it a light reassuring squeeze. "Where do we go from here?"

"Well, there are several things that need to be done. We need to schedule a time for her to have a Laparoscopy done. We need to go inside and see how far the cancer has spread. If it's small then there won't be much that will need to be done. We can go in and remove the infected areas and start her treatments. There is a chance she could be better within a year. It all depends on if we caught the cancer in its early stages and if we give the right treatments. The surgery to remove the cancer cells will be our best bet to insure that we stop the cancer in its tracks before it can infect any another areas of her body."

"I-I can't stay here." I choke still not looking at either man in the office with me. "I want to go home." I want my own house, my own bed, and the sanity of familiarity. There was no way I'd be able to be in the fight of my life here in Knoxville. NO way.

"Very understandable, Cheyenne. I figured as much actually and I took it upon myself to contact a very good doctor in your area. I told him that there was a possibility that you'd be wanting to go home with everything that is going on. He and I went to college together and besides myself I consider him to be one of the best."

Looking at the doctor he offers up a forced smile and hands me an envelope. "Here is some information that you will need. I've included several pamphlets on Ovarian Cancer for you to read over so that you won't be totally in the dark until your appointment with Dr. Mitchell. I will call your house tomorrow and give you the time and date of your first appointment with him."

Numbly I take the envelope and stand on shaking legs. "Thank you Dr. Rice." I offer making my way toward the door. I can hear Marti speaking with him briefly before he comes to my side and pulls the door open. With his hand on the small of my back he leads me from the office and out to the car.

"I'm scared, Marti." I admit to him as he opens my car door. Looking up at him I can see his own fear swimming beneath the surface of his eyes.

"Me too." He tells me and wraps his arms around me. "But, I'm positive that you will make it. Look at everything else you've made happen in your life, Chey. If you want something bad enough, you take life by the horns and go and get it. Tackle this with as much tenacity, baby girl, and I'm sure that this won't be but another hurdle that you soar over in your life."

Pulling back from him I kiss his cheek. He made everything sound so simple and easy. I had struggled in my life, but I made the changes necessary to make them better. Why can't this be just another obstacle that I take on and master? "I hope you're right. I want to survive, Marti. I want to live."

Sliding down into the passenger seat of the car, I can't wait to be home. I want to smell the fresh country air again, and remember the simpler times in life when all I wanted was to become a wrestler and live in that dream. I want to remember the way it felt the first time I laid in Mark's arms. I know he's mad right now, but I hope in the long run, if I survive he will be understanding enough to accept me back. To continue to live our lives together. Like Marti said this could be just another hurdle in my path of life.

"You ready?" Marti asks me, putting the car into gear.

Nodding my head, I sigh and slump down into my seat. "As I'll ever be." I answer, looking over at him. In my mind I wanted to be sure of my own survival, but in my heart I wasn't so sure.


	6. Chapter 6

**_AN- Again thank you to those that are continuing this story with me. All of your Reviews mean the world. _**

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Chapter 6

Deep voices. That is the first thing I hear as I come to. Rolling my head to the side I'm shocked to see Marti sitting in a chair by the window, shoulder to shoulder with Vince McMahon. I thought I said I didn't want to see anyone. But, knowing Vince, he never listened to anything anyone said anyway. He did what he wanted when he wanted. "You guys could keep it down." My voice cracks and it is deep from sleep as I try to joke with them. "A girl is trying to sleep here."

"Well, it's good to see that you haven't lost your since of humor while you've been away." Vince retorts, coming to stand next to my bed, his hands resting on the side rails as he looks down upon me. Looking up at the worried expression on his face, he reminds me in that moment of a troubled father. "How are you feeling sweetheart?" He asks, reaching out to smooth the hair around my face.

"Hurting." I answer him simply. It had been several weeks since I had arrived back home, and I was now on my third surgery. However this was the big one.

After my first initial laparoscopy, which had been done almost immediately after I had returned, we found that I was in the second stages of my cancer. The cells had managed to move on through my fallopian tubes, my uterus and was beginning to weave its way through my pelvis itself. I found out then that I was most likely going to have to have a hysterectomy. They had gone in a second time for the doctors to gather some tissue and other samples to find out how fast the cancer was spreading.

This third surgery, however, was the one. The one that decided where we go from here. The hysterectomy. I was no longer a full woman. I could no longer bear children, even if I wanted them. I could turn this around and say that I should be happy that I will no longer have a period, but then again I won't be able to experience the full cycle of a woman either.

Nodding his salt and pepper head at me, he points to a rather large array of flowers and Get Well Soon balloons along the far wall of my hospital room. "I come bearing gifts." He informs me with a giant smile.

Licking my dry lips I smile, despite my pain, at the beautiful arrangements that he had brought with him. Every color flower I could ever imagine is laid out before me, tucked and placed in vases and baskets for my viewing pleasure. "Thanks, Vince. Who are they from?" I ask him, looking up into his soulful eyes.

"Pretty much, everybody." He answers, crossing the room to pluck all the cards from the arrangements. Turning back toward me he flashes the cards my way, and brings them to me. "They are in the dark as to why you are out. I told them that you weren't going to be with us for a while due to personal issues. Some of them have come to me privately to ask what's going on, and I did tell them that you weren't feeling well. I hope that no one has tried to contact you, I told them that you needed time and that when you were ready to let everyone in on what was going on… then you would."

Looking up from the scriptures written on the cards I offer him a smile. "Thank you so much for doing that."

I don't know why, but I feel heartbroken that Mark hadn't sent me anything. I go through the cards rather quickly and it lightens my mood to see the names scribbled on the daintily painted cardboard cut outs. But there is one name that I want to see more than the rest and it isn't among them.

"Chey, I… Mark is taking this rather hard, sweetheart." His deep voice sounds guarded like he is trying to find a way to approach me on the topic. Is it that obvious what I am looking for? "He looks lost and his mood is rather… distant. He decided to take a break from the road not long after you left."

Nodding my head slowly, I place the cards on the bedside tray and lay back against the pillows again. Everyone, except for Marti, probably had the same unspoken question that Vince was trying to get across to me. They want to know why I didn't have him with me at a time like this. Heaving a heavy breath, I wince at the amount of pain it caused in my abdomen. "Vince I still love him…" I begin.

"Chey…" Vince starts, with a shake of his head.

Raising my hand I cut him off. "I know what everyone is thinking, Vince. Including you. I don't want Mark to have to suffer with me. I know it's hard for everyone to understand and I don't expect you to. He has already been through so much…I don't want to be the one that continues to make him suffer. If I get better again, I will take the time to hunt him down and beg for forgiveness. If it is too late for us to have a relationship, then it wasn't meant to be."

"Not that I want to start an argument at a time like this, but don't you think that it would be a little more fair to give him the choice?" Vince asks, sitting down beside Marti again.

"Maybe…" I sigh, turning my head to stare at a peculiar spot on the ceiling. "But I wasn't asked what I wanted when I was diagnosed with this disease."

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Chey." Marti's voice breaks in.

"My thoughts exactly." Vince chimes.

Their arguments piss me off. The whole situation is beginning to make me angry. Narrowing my eyes at the two men that I looked up to, I can't stop the seething poison from dripping from my voice. "You're right. They don't. So how is it right that I am lying here half the woman I was just yesterday? How is it right that after everything that I have been through, I have to be the one diagnosed with cancer? None of this is right, so excuse me for trying to make at least one thing right out of all of it. If I can save just one person through all of this, it is him. When I found out that I was sick, my plan was to disappear. I didn't even want to burden my friends with what I am going through. Now, Marti has had to move the school away from the house. Beth has quit her job and is now staying home with Marti to wait on me and make sure that I'm ok. Damn it, I didn't want this!"

The tears began to fall. Can't everyone just understand that I want to be ok. That I want to be with Mark instead of lying in a hospital bed. I want to go back to the night that I watched the love of my life, drop down on one knee and ask me to be with him forever. My memory of that night is beginning to fade, and I need it to stay with me. I need to remember the love that I saw in his eyes. I need the words that he had whispered to me as he spoke of his undying love for me. That is what I need to keep me moving forward in my struggles.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Chey." Vince states, breaking my mental tirade. "I just want you to think about what this would mean to him. If he only knew what you were going through, I'm sure he wouldn't want to be anywhere than with you."

"I am just his second passion. He will forever be more in love with wrestling than he is with anything else."

Standing, Vince makes his way back over to my bed and he leans down so that he can fold his arms over the railing, making me look at him. "That may have been so before. But that man hasn't worked for me since you left him that night in Nashville. If you ask me, you are the reason he fell in love with wrestling again. It was you that kept him from retiring."

Leaning further in, he kisses my hair and stands. "Well, I've got to get back to the airport. I have to be in Connecticut later this evening." He announces, making his way toward the door. "I'll be checking in on you, keep your head up kid."

With a slight wave of his hand he is gone. It is just like him though. Come in, make small talk, get to his point and leave. He is a man of power and position. He doesn't have time for niceties. He doesn't worry about the small stuff. If he has a point, he makes it. Plain and simple.

"Well, that was short and sweet." Marti sighs, scooting down in his chair.

Rolling my head so that I am facing away from him, I let the silent tears of my pain fall. Pain from my surgery and the pain from my heart. I long to have Mark with me. To have him share what little time I may have left. But my future isn't secure. My life is hanging in a balance. Nothing is definite. Life. Death. One of those will be a door that I will have to choose. But then it may not be up to me. If I had the choice I'd make it now and it would be to live. There was no question about that.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N- Again thanks to Texeljay for making sure everything was just so... you are a great BETA. To phenix- I don't know about the tissues. I was told this one was a good chapter... you might need them. To Rebel- your father is in my prayers honey. To everyone else that is reviewing and reading... thanks. There are no words for those that encourage me on a daily basis, esp with my writting. Jay and Egypt especially. You two have become very inspirational to me and have tried to kick my ass into gear.  
As always Please Review!  
Stacy_**

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Chapter 7

Looking over at Marti's outstretched hand, I feel myself grow dizzy and shake my head at him. "I can't move." I explain to him weakly.

"I'll take you in." He nods in understanding. Marti doesn't hesitate to lean down into the car and wrap my arms around his neck. Leaning down further his hands cradle under me and his arms tense as he lifts me. I couldn't stop the groan of protest that breaks from my lips, his movements making me feel sick. "I'm sorry." He grunts, apparently from the strain of trying to keep from jarring me too much.

Shaking my head, I bury my face into his chest as he carries me toward the house. I feel so helpless, so tired. The last few weeks had been a strain on everyone in the house. Everything that I had feared happening, going on right before me, and I couldn't stop it. I don't want to have to depend on anyone to help me get through my day. I don't want to watch my friends put their lives on hold for me… But I don't have a choice.

Suddenly a wave of nausea sweeps over me and I struggle against Marti, pushing his chest and kicking my feet. Moving swiftly he pushes us into the downstairs bathroom and sets me on the floor in front of the toilet. My stomach immediately rejects the chemicals in my body violently, along with any of the food I have eaten today, just like it has for the past week.

"Damn it!" I hiss, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand. Looking up at Marti, I see the stress that my illness has put on him. His usually tanned skin, looked pale and dark circles stretched out from under his eyes and I can't help wondering when they had gotten there. He looks worn and worked to the bone. Why hasn't he said something?

"Do you think we can get you to your room, or do you need to stay in here for a bit?" He asks leaning down to hand me a washcloth to wipe my mouth.

Slapping the cloth away, I make a move to stand but my body is just too weak to move. Falling back, I feel myself growing angry. Angry at myself for getting sick. Angry at Marti for not telling me that he is tired and needs a break. Angry at God for allowing all of this to happen.

"C'mon, Chey." Marti pleads with me. "Let's get you upstairs so you can rest."

"What about you?" I sob leaning my head against the wall cause I'm too weak to hold it up myself. "Marti, I still have a long road ahead of me and already it is taking its toll on you. Tell me how this is worth it?" I ask him. Already I am tired of being sick. Tired of being cooped up in my little room while everyone else busts their asses to make me comfortable. I don't like seeing Marti and Beth struggle to make things happen.

Shaking his head, Marti squatts down, resting his forearms on his knees. "It is worth it. YOU are worth it." He informs me as he reaches out to wipe some sweat from my forehead. "You have to hang in there, princess."

Closing my eyes, I fight the trembling of my body. I feel so cold. Clammy. "I-I am t-tired of this shit already…" I begin but a moan of pain cuts me off. My insides are on fire. I feel as though there is someone in there with a blowtorch. Doubling over, I curl myself up on the cool tile of the floor. "I-I c-can't do… this… anymore."

"Don't you dare!" Marti's voice booms at me. I can hear his anger, his fear etched out in his voice as my eyes drift shut. "You are not giving up."

"Who says?" I whimper as he lifts me from the floor with a loud groan. "I'm tired Marti."

A little bit later, Marti finally has me in my room. All the lights are out and the blinds shut tight. I can't see his face only his silhouette in the darkened room. "Please don't give up on me, Princess." His voice is thick with worry and I immediately regret my outburst. "You can't give up on me now. Not when the battle could be almost over… I will fight for you if I have to."

Raising my hand, I caress his cheek. "You are already fighting for me." I choke, my emotions running away with me. "Maybe you should bring in somebody to help you guys. I hate seeing you as run down as me."

"You sure?" He asks. I know he is thinking back to the time when I told him that I didn't want anyone else to see me. How adamant I had been about not letting anyone else get involved.

"As long as they don't make fun of my misshapen head when I start losing my hair, I think we'll be ok." I joke feebly. I really don't want anyone else to see me like this, but I can't bear the thought that my illness is wearing someone else down, let alone Marti. He hasn't been married to Beth a year yet, and they don't get to spend much time together.

He chuckles, grasping my petite wrist in his hand so that he can kiss my palm. "Only I can do that."

"Promise me that you will find someone to help take care of me and that you and Beth will go and take a vacation." I demand. It might be a shot in the dark seeing as he never leaves my side, but I needed him to be strong. I needed him to continue to be my rock.

Kissing my palm again, he lays my hand over my chest and stands. "Call me if you need me."

"Promise me."

I hear him sigh from the doorway. "OK. I promise."

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Staring out the window, I sigh heavily and let my memories take me back to a time when the backyard had been filled to capacity with life. The sounds of a wrestling school and all the wonderful people that helped us make it what it was. I can remember the day that Marti and I had discussed bringing the school to the house. He had been so unsure as to why I had wanted it so badly. Why I felt the need to get so involved in wrestling itself.

The only thing I could think of was that I needed it. After the struggle of losing weight and learning that my parents wanted to live the rest of their life in seclusion, I needed the atmosphere and the physicality that becoming a wrestler would bring. The friendships that I had made in the wrestling community had helped as well.

"Chey… you doin' ok?"

Looking up I see Beth standing in the doorway watching me. Her soft face carrying a look of worry as she took me in. Shrugging my shoulders, I look back out over the green field on the other side of the glass. "Just thinking."

I hear her walk into the room, her footsteps slow and steady as she takes a seat behind me on the bench. "What about?"

Sighing, I look at the spot where the ring used to be and immediately I miss it. "Life." I answer her simply. Things had been going so differently since the chemo treatments had started. Three times I week I had to load up in the van while Marti drove me down to the cancer center in town. I'd be there all day hooked up to the IV and then we'd load back up and he'd drive me home. By the time we got there I was usually so sick that I couldn't do much of anything. Today was a good enough day though. It was the weekend and my strength always got better after a day or so without the chemicals.

Beth's hands came up to rest on my shoulders. "You can't dwell on the what ifs, Chey."

Turning away from the window, I feel defeated. I feel like I've finally let things sink in. "I know I can't. It's just that I'm thirty-one and I can't help but feel a little angry that I will never know what it's like to have a child. It's like before, when the possibility was there, I took it for granted. Like it didn't matter as much, and now… now that I don't have a choice in the matter I want it back."

Beth's face turns mournful. I can tell she is looking for words of encouragement and wanting to say the right thing to me to make it all better, but there was nothing to say. I know that my fate has been decided. I know that there is a possibility that I won't make it through all of this and that makes me troubled too. I want the pain to be worth it. I need to know that everything that I'm doing now will ensure my future.

A soft knock interrupts my thoughts and I looked up to see Glen standing in the doorway, a small smile playing on his lips. "Hey there beautiful."

I know a look of hurt crosses my face as I glance over at Beth. They had deceived me and broke their promise in keeping everyone away from me. She holds her hands up in her own defense. "Marti said you were asking us to take a break. Made him promise to hire some extra help. Glen answers the call."

I feel my eyes beginning to burn as they make their way back over to him leaning casually in the doorframe. It feels like forever since I have seen him. He is a sight, even though when I told them to hire someone I meant a nurse, someone I didn't know. Standing up from my seat I make my way over to him and wrap my arms around his larger than life frame. "Hey brute." I whisper, the tears finally making their way down my face.


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N Not much to say except Thank You to all of my loyal readers. If you are reading this I hope that you will take a second to review... As your words mean so much. Rebel- You are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this hard time in your life.  
Stacy_**

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Chapter 8

Not long after his arrival, Glen takes the time to convince me to go out on the porch with him to get some fresh air. I know that my time outside is precious seeing as my immune system has been weakened by the chemo, but I long to have the sunlight kissing my skin and the light breeze in my hair. "I really missed this place." His deep voice tells me making me look away from the calming rippling of the water in the pool.

Nodding my head I take a sip from my glass of lemonade and then lean forward to place it on the table between us. "Yeah, me too." I agree casting him a warm smile. "I had almost forgotten how beautiful it is. The day that Marti got me home, I spent a lot of time out here. It seemed to help me clear my head, ya know?"

Taking a drink from his own glass, Glen licks his lips and bobs his head in agreement. "It's peaceful out here, that's for sure." He agrees simply.

Leaning back in my chair, I stare at the white puffy clouds moving over our heads, dreading asking the one question that had been eating at me for the past few weeks. "So, um… how is everyone?"

Rolling his head from side to side, Glen's eyes take on a look that I've never seen before. He appears guarded and like he could be searching for the right words. He has never had to be that way with me in the past. He has always been upfront with me and I can't help but wonder if I have changed that by the decisions I have made regarding my future. "I guess everyone is doin' as well as can be expected. There are a lot of people wondering the same thing about you."

Taken back by his words, I wonder what he is getting to. Does he mean Mark, or everyone in general? His friendship with Mark had been going on years before he had ever met me. I wouldn't be surprised if it was him that he was trying to bring up in a round-a-bout sorta way.

However I have readied myself to answer the questions I know are going to be asked, I haven't even thought to prepare myself for Glen. Glen being the one friend that Mark and I shared everything with. "Yeah, Vince had told me that when he came to visit me last week. The flowers everyone sent were beautiful. I noticed the card from you… Thank you."

"No problem." The smile he sends me, warms my heart. I can tell he feels genuinely happy that he was able to do that small gesture for me. "I wish I had known what was going on though, Chey. I would've been there myself instead of sending flowers."

Wrapping my arms protectively around my middle, I turn my face away from him. His voice had a note of sadness in it and it struck me like a slap to the face. If things were different and the situation that I was going through wasn't so hard to deal with myself, I might have involved other people sooner. But, when you are trying to cope with something so out of control, it's hard to imagine watching other people dealing with it too. For me it only adds to my stress. It makes me hurt even more to know that others are in pain because of me. "You wouldn't understand."

"Then make me, Chey." He demands in a soft voice. "I want to understand. I want to believe that you have a valid reason for shutting us all out."

"I don't know how to make you understand. I don't have the words to explain it to you. It's… It's just a choice I made to try and protect everyone else from what I'm going through." I explain mutedly. "You know the first thing you think of when someone tells you that you have cancer is death. A slow long death that is preceded by the biggest fight you've ever fought. You think of the pain, and the words of others on how bad the chemo makes you feel and what it does to your body."

Turning to face him, my eyes squint against the sunlight beaming into my face from behind him. "All I kept seeing was me… lying in a bed, my body so lifeless and colorless. Big dark circles under my eyes and the feeling of fear. Fear of death. Fear of pain… My one thought was, how could I do that to everyone? So, I made the decision to run. To walk away from everyone and everything that ever meant something to me so that I would be remembered for the woman I had been, not the woman I was going to become."

For a long time, he just sits there looking at me. I can see the storm of emotions brewing behind his eyes as he takes in my words. I can only hope that what I said makes some sort of sense to him. I want him to understand. Need him to know that it wasn't malice that drove me to remove myself from everyone, but my way of keeping them safe. What they don't know can't hurt them, right?

"I'm sorry, I had no idea." He finally states. I watch his adam's apple bob as he swallows hard, and my eyes meet with his. Their normal shiny hazel depths are now cloudy, covered in a film of unshed emotion.

Getting up from my seat, I walk over to him and kneel at his feet. "Please don't do that." I beg him. Lifting his hand from his lap, I tuck it between both of my hands and hold it tight.

"Chey, I think it's time you come inside. It's time to take your medicine." Marti's voice rings out behind me.

Glancing over my shoulder, I give him a nod. There is so much more that I needed to say to Glen at that moment, but I have all week to get everything out. "I'm coming."

Standing up, I release Glen's hands and lean forward, gently kissing the stubble on his cheek. Pulling back, I can't help but smile and bump the tip of his nose with my own. "Cheer up, it's a beautiful day."

Walking past Marti, I step inside and close the door behind me sensing that the reason for Marti's intrusion was that he had witnessed the emotion on Glen's face and felt that they needed to talk. Combing my fingers through my long blonde hair I look up and notice Beth standing in the kitchen flipping through a magazine. "Do you think I made the wrong decision in walking away from Mark?" I ask her as I pick up my pills and swallow them down with a grimace.

"It doesn't matter what I think, Chey." She tells me simply not looking up from the colorful pages.

"What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

With a heavy sigh, Beth looks over at the doors that Marti had walked through only seconds before. "I have no idea… The situation between myself and Marti is so different than the one between you and Mark. Honestly, I don't feel that there is a right or wrong, it's your life, your decision."

"What if it were Marti? Would you be upset if he didn't want you to be there while he was going through this?" I press. I feel the need to justify my actions for some reason. Before the visit from Vince and Glen, I knew that what I wanted was right. There would be no way to make me change my mind. But, after talking with both of them, I'm beginning to feel that I might be wrong.

"I'm sure I would be, at first. I can see myself understanding why he might make that choice, but I think I'd be devastated if I wasn't there to spend a few moments with him if he wasn't going to be around much longer." She answers me honestly. "I'm the kind of woman that would rather spend a few moments with the one that I love, rather than have a lifetime of questions."

Damn she hit a nerve with that one. I never thought that someone else's view of life would affect me differently. Make me question my own resolve. What would Mark want? Would he hate me forever for taking that choice away from him? Could he understand why I wanted to keep him from witnessing all of this? "I know I asked you not to tell me… but does he call?"

Pinching her lips together, Beth looks as though the question was a tough one. I know I had begged them to not keep bringing Mark up, but this time I needed to know. "He has called." She tells me slowly, her face becoming grim. "We haven't heard from him in two weeks."

Two weeks. Has he given up? Has he found someone else? What is he doing that he can't at least pick up the phone and call? Lowering myself into the nearby stool, I feel a sadness creep over me. This is why I didn't want to know. This is why I kept myself from thinking of him.

"Chey… He is hurt. He doesn't understand…"

"I made it that way." I blurt cutting her off. "And I guess it will have to stay that way. I can't afford to lose my focus from getting better. Forget I asked about him." I tell her as I stand and make my way up the stairs to my room. What was I doing?

Walking into my room, I shut and lock the door. The tears I have been holding in finally finding their way down my face. Stepping into my closet I pull out a box from under the piles of clothes and open it. Reaching inside I withdraw a frame and flip it over so that I can peer at the smiling faces looking back at me.

Running my fingers over his face, I wonder how I can keep going without him at my side. Dropping the frame to my lap, my free hand comes to my face as the emotions wash over me. I hear my voice pleading for forgiveness bouncing off the walls around me. Oh how I long to feel his strong embrace around me. The security that he always gave me so freely. All he wanted was love, and even if he didn't know it… he had it.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N- Sorry it's taken so long for this update. Things are sometimes beyond my control. Thank you to those that have reviewed so far, you have no idea what they mean to me.To my lovely BETA Jay... You've helped me make sure every chapter is perfect and I appreciate that. Thank you for your advice and your time. OH and on an off topic... Myself and mybeautiful sistersare going to WRESTLEMANIA 23! I can't wait!  
Stacy_

* * *

Chapter 9

Walking up next to Glen, I wrap a single arm around his lower back as he says his goodbyes to Marti and Beth. Both of their faces hold wide smiles as they shake his hand and Marti continues on with instructions for the tall bald man at my side. "Make sure she remembers to take her medicine and the doctors say that she is most likely going to start losing her hair this week…"

"When are you supposed to be in Florida?" I ask him cutting off another long winded tirade and Glen's hand comes up to cover my mouth.

"Don't mind her." He tells the couple, cutting his eyes playfully at me. "I've got your numbers, if I need you, I promise I'll call."

With her hands on Marti's shoulders, Beth pulls him toward the car. "Thanks Glen…" She begins, pulling harder on her husband when he didn't move. "We should arrive at my parent's house late tonight. I'm sure Marti will call before we get there to see how the treatment goes."

"Stop worrying, I'll be fine." I promise him, shooing him away with both hands. The look of him backing away from us making me want to beg him to stay. His poor face scrunching up in worry, his steps slow and unsure. "I hope he will be." I tell Glen from the corner of my mouth once Marti was out of earshot.

Peering up at Glen, I see the big man's shoulders shake in a silent chuckle as the doors to Beth's car finally close and they back out of the driveway. Shortly after the car disappears around the bend of our street and instantly I miss them. Miss their faces. Miss the security I feel in their presence. Not that I didn't think Glen could get the job done, but Marti and Beth had been there for me from the beginning.

"OK. Do you have everything already loaded up in the van?" Glen asks turning toward me.

Nodding my head, I shuffle in my fluffy bunny slippers toward the passenger side of the vehicle, stopping short when Glen snorts at me. "What?"

Pointing at my slippers his face holds a look of humor. " Nice bunnies, you've got there. I don't mind the pajamas but… furry bunnies?" He laughs climbing into the drivers seat of the van.

Jumping up into the van, I smile over at him and put my feet onto the dash wiggling them back and forth for him to see the ears flop around about my ankles. "I don't see what you don't like about them… unless… Glen are you afraid of floppy eared bunnies?" I tease him.

Shaking his head at me, he steers the van out of the drive and the neighborhood. "Nope, not cute little bunnies." He answers me, his voice low. "I am however worried about what we will have to tackle once this treatment is over."

His honesty strikes a cord with me, but I don't know how to make him feel better. So I go for facts. "Well, I know they said that they're going to be increasing the dosage this week. They haven't told me what kind of physical effect it will have differently… besides that I'm going to lose my hair. It can't be any worse than the past two weeks have been."

Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, I watch the look of uneasiness cross his face. "Marti told me that you get pretty sick once he brings you home. If they are giving you something stronger, don't you think that could make things worse?"

"It could." I shrug. Sighing, I take the earphones from my I-POD and plant them firmly in my ears and allow the sounds of Metallica to fill my thoughts. I have no plans to allow Glen to make me think of what was to come. If I allow myself to think of how the treatments would affect me, I would probably never take another trip to the center.

Glancing back over to him, I bob my head to the familiar guitar riffs of "Unforgiven", his face holds a look of worry, thought and something else I can't quite put my finger on. I can tell he's hiding something. Something I can only assume to be fear. Fear of the unknown. Of not seeing me at my worst before Marti and Beth had taken off on their sabbatical. He has no idea what he has signed up for and I know that in a matter of hours his loyalty to this tender disease as well as me would be put to the test.

If it isn't my vomiting, it will be the chills or the string of violent curses that I will inevitably hurl at him for my pain. I won't mean them. I never do. Marti and Beth had grown immune to my words, had found ways to over look me in the throws of illness. I need him to be that strong. To know that it isn't him I will be angry with. That it is me and the violent way that my stomach will lurch at the smallest turn of my head, or the non-stop twisting and clenching of the muscles of my body. I have no control over myself during those times. I can only lay in wait for it to run its course.

A tap on the leg tells me that we have made it to the center. Climbing out of the van, I shuffle toward the large building with Glen at my side. I do feel his protectiveness over me. Can sense his need to be there, but how long will it last? When will it be that he claims that he can't do it? That he can't sit back and watch me go through this alone. Then and only then will my point of not wanting Mark with me now become more clear to him. He will have to understand my wishes once he sees what he will have to endure. Don't get me wrong, I hate that it will take something so drastic to make him realize it, but what else can be done to make him see why Mark would be better off not knowing?

Stepping through the doors, I wave my hellos to the nurses at the station. Two weeks ago I had found myself waiting on them to call me back and take me to my destination, but now I walk past them and down a long corridor, counting the rooms until I reach where I spend my days hooked up to the dreadful IV. Hopping up on the bed, I sit patiently and wait for the whole song and dance to begin.

Removing my earphones, I smile over at Glen. His attention is on all the charts and equipment that fills the room. He must look as Marti and I had our first visit to the center. There is a lot for him to take in. "You can ask the nurses anything you need to know about my care. That's how Marti learned everything." I explain to him just as the nurse enters my room.

"Mornin', Chey." Mary's chipper voice calls out to me. "Where's Marti and Beth?"

Sliding down on the bed, I lay my arm across a pillow and watch her as she rubs a swab over the inner bend of my arm. "They went to Florida to visit Beth's parents. They enlisted my friend Glen here to watch over me while they're gone. Maybe you could offer him some tips on how to care for me at home. He probably has a lot of questions for you."

Her bubbly face gave a nod. "Most new care takers do." She states, agreeing with me as she took a glance in Glen's direction. "I'll be happy to tell you anything I can during her treatment. She will probably want to sleep during this visit. This medicine is pretty strong and will take her strength."

Shaking my head I grasp for my earphones. "Please, Mary… I don't want to hear it." I exclaim as I hit the power button and allow the tunes to fill my eardrums.

* * *

Opening my eyes, my teeth are chattering together. A wave of bile is rising in my throat. Jumping up I stumble my way toward the bathroom and fall to my knees before I make it. I can hear quick footsteps behind me, feel hands lift me from my spot and place me on the floor in front of the bowl of the toilet.

Wiping at my mouth with the washcloth that appeared over my shoulder, I curl up against the cool tile of the floor. My body shivering. My muscles aching. I can feel Glen's large arms encircle me and lift me from the floor. His low gravely voice telling me that he's got me. I want to fight him. I want to tell him that I can walk to my own bed. But I can't even form a word.

He sits me down gently on a nearby chair and he curls a blanket around me. "I'm gonna change your sheets. Will you be okay for a minute?"

Nodding my head, I clutch the fleece to me. "T-this s-s-sucks." I tell him through the clattering of my teeth.

"I know, princess. You know it doesn't last too long." He assures me. "I promise I'll have you all nice and warm in no time. Your sheets are soaked."

"I-I'm s-s-orry." I offer, clenching my eyes together as another wave of bile rises up the back of my throat.

Throwing the blanket away, I make my way back toward the bathroom. I can hear Glen cursing as his steps fall in behind me. "You can't control it, princess."

Jerking away from the toilet I glare up at him. "Stop being so damned nice." I order him. "I don't need nice, I need you to help me."

"I'm trying princess. Let me get back to your bedding, and we'll get you all nice and cozy."

Wiping the sweaty hair out of my face, I am shocked to see the hair sticking to my fingers. Long tangles of my blonde locks laying lifelessly in my hands. Sobbing ruefully, I can't believe it is happening so soon. They told me it would happen during the week, but I had been hoping for it to be later in the week. I can hear Glen's hesitant footsteps as he approaches me. Looking up at him, the tears pooling in my eyes as I realize it was happening already. "I-It's f-falling out!" I exclaim showing him the strands that are curled around my fingers.

Nodding his head, he leans down and gently pulls me to my feet. "I know… there was some laying on your pillow."

"Please tell me I haven't lost a lot already…" I start reaching for my head again.

Glen snatches my hands down before I can feel for myself the amount of hair loss. "Baby girl, you knew this was gonna happen. It isn't bad yet, but I'm sure by the end of the week, it will be gone."

Pulling at my hands, I want to feel for myself. I want to know how bad I must look to others. I need to know how much of my hair I had lost. "Please, Glen, I need to know how much." I beg against his strong hold on my wrists. "I have to know!"

Shaking his head, Glen releases his hold on my wrists and cradles my face in his palms. "It has been just a little. It is the least of your worries right now."

Sobbing my defeat I stop struggling with him, and he helps me into the bed. Glancing up I notice the look of sadness cross his hazel eyes as he covers me with the heavy blankets. "Thanks, Glen." I offer curling up on my side, facing away from him.

His lips come down and touch my temple as he turns and makes his way out of my room. "G'night sweetheart, call me if you need me."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N It has been a while... I am sorry about that. This chapter took a lot out of me, and it turned out to be quite emotional. Trying to think of people when they learn of someone they love having cancer was quite difficult. It is as if someone signs your death warrant when you hear of it. Yeah people do survive, but it changes you. Completely. It changes the people around you and their reaction to you and the things that you do. It's those emotions that I had to face, that I had to envelope to bring this story to life. Dreamig Egypt thanks for letting me know I was on the right path. I do hope that others feel the same way, I do hope that you guys will read this with an open mind and let me know if I got it right.  
Please Review  
Stacy_

Rolling over, I kick the blankets away from my body. I feel clammy. Cold. Breathing in deeply, my muscles around my abdomen scream at the expansion. I had been up most of the night being violently ill. Sicker than I had ever been in my life. I can only assume that it would be like having the worst kind of food poisoning. The worst part? It's only the beginning.

Very gingerly I move to sit. Every bone in my body aching. Shivering I clear my throat and cringe at the pain from it's rawness. "Glen." I try to call, but it comes out sounding low and squeaky. I know that Glen had been up with me, helping me through the night. He had changed my sheets at least a dozen times, but I need him. I need something for the pain.

Listening intently, I can hear voices downstairs. So, figuring that Glen is watching TV and can't hear me, I crawl from the bed and move slowly to the door and pull it open. "Glen." I try again and wait for a response. Again he couldn't have heard me, but I was trying.

Walking toward the stairs I take them slowly, one at a time. My previous treatments had never made me feel this bad, and I hate what it is doing to me. At the bottom of the stairs I make my way to the living room and see Glen looking in the direction of the TV. Shuffling forward, his face finally turns toward me and I see him look at me with a worried expression. Running a hand over my disheveled thinning hair, I can't help but wonder if I look as bad as I feel.

"Chey…" He starts jumping up from the couch to come to me.

Placing a hand on his chest I keep him from ushering me back toward the stairs. Shaking my head, I grasp his hand and make him look at me. "I need my meds." I whisper to him.

Checking his watch his eyes grow wide as if he realizes that I was supposed to have taken them a while ago. His hand comes to my elbow and he pulls me toward the stairs again. "Why don't we get you back upstairs…."

"Chey?"

Glancing up at Glen, my insides drop. Shaking my head, I don't want to think of the voice that came from behind him. I didn't want to think that he had broken my trust and brought someone into the house after everything he had done and witnessed. Especially if it was the person I thought it was. No, that I knew it was.

Pushing him aside weakly, I take in Mark's face. He is looking me over as if I am a stranger. His eyes taking me in from head to toe. I can see the hurt and the anger brewing behind those eyes. Eyes that had held me captive so many times. Eyes that used to look at me as if I was the only person in the room. Eyes that now held disgust and remorse.

Shaking his head, his body leans against the door frame he's standing in, a deep sigh breaking from his parted lips. His eyes cast to my feet and stay there. His face turning red as his hands come up to cover his mouth as if he's praying.

Looking up at Glen, I look to him for strength. I find none. He looks beaten. At that point I know he hadn't planned for me to come down, he fought to keep me away from seeing his guest. The tension of the room surrounds me like a heavy fog. Weighing my sore body down more than it already was.

"I'm sorry…" Glen whispers to me lightly. "I tried to get him to go."

Shaking my head, I step forward and come to stand in front of Mark. "Did you see what you came to see?" I ask him, my voice cracking from emotion as well as stress.

Lifting his head I can see the unshed tears pooling in his eyes. "Why?" He asks me simply, the word coming out shakily as a few tears drop from his lashes.

"What what? Why did I walk away? Why did I push you from my life? Why did I get cancer?" I ask him the stream of questions without backing down from him. I feel bad to see his tears, but he brought them onto himself. He wasn't supposed to be here. "You should have stayed away."

"Cancer?" He asks, his deep green eyes moving from my face to Glen's. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't my place, Mark." Glen answers quickly. "I made a promise to her and to Marti…"

Slamming his hand against the wall, Mark moves forward glaring at the other large man in the entry way. "You have been my best friend for years and you… you can't tell me that the woman I love more than life itself, left me because she's sick?" He growled. "I would think that would be something that you WOULD tell me!"

Holding his hands out in front of him in defeat, Glen shook his head and turned and left Mark and I standing in the room alone. Turning to Mark, I put my finger in his chest. "It was my decision… Not his. He has fought me tooth and nail to tell you." I inform him. "Damn you." I whisper feeling myself grow angry that he was there, and that he was causing so much emotion inside of me. He has always been the one person who could make me happy and angry at the same time. Made me want to run to him and hug him as well as slap the taste out of his mouth.

"NO! Damn YOU!" He spat in my face. "You agreed to marry me… you said you wanted to grow old with me…"

"That was before I knew!" I cry, tears falling from my eyes. "DO you think I want this? I wanted to spend my life with you… I wanted… I want to be able to keep that promise to you… You have NO idea what this has done to me…"

"You have NO idea what it has done to me, princess… I went from being on top of the world and having everything I've ever needed to be complete… to losing it all in one morning…"

Reaching up I slap him across the face. Hard. Harder than I thought I had strength for. "I found out that morning!" I scream at him and turn my back to him. "The first thing I thought of when the doctor told me that the tests were positive for cancer was you, and my promise to you… then it was the fact that you were going to lose yet someone else in your life. I thought I would save you from the disappointment and walk away so that you could remember me for the woman I was. I wanted to save you from seeing me like I am now. I didn't want to spend the last of my days with you being sick and unable to go to the bathroom by myself. I didn't want to watch you age because of the stress that this illness can cause…" Turning back to him, his eyes are searching my face. "I walked away that day, BECAUSE I love you. I shut you out because I didn't want you to have to watch me die."

Dropping to my knees, I burry my face in my hands and let go of the pain of saying it out-loud. Admitting that the main reason I wanted everyone at such a distance because of not wanting them to watch me die. Why can't everyone understand that? Don't they see that I am trying to protect them. That because of my love for them, I want them to know me and remember me as being happy and full of life… not broken and on my death bed.

"Oh God, darlin'…" Mark breaths, pulling me into the security of his arms.

Clutching onto his shirt, I hold on for dear life. For sanity. If he could only ever forgive me, I would take it all back. In the past few months I had prayed for him to come. For him to not give up on me, and for once I know that my prayers have been answered. "I'm… sorry." I sob into his chest.

I hear him moan as he holds me tighter against him. "No, baby girl… " He whispers against the side of my face. "I'm the one that is sorry."

Suddenly he lifts my body, pillowing me against his strong chest, as he carries me up the stairs. I can hear a second set of feet pounding up the wooden steps behind him. Making his way into my room, he lays me gently on the bed and smoothes my thinning hair away from my face.

Glen's face appears next to him and he holds up a glass of water and he shows me the pills he carries in his large hand. Coming up to my elbows I take the glass and the pills and swallow both down fairly quickly. Patting Mark on the shoulder, Glen leaves the room quickly and shuts the door behind him.

"I need to talk to him." Mark sighs when the door closes.

"At least stay with me until I fall asleep?" I ask, sliding over in the bed to make room for him.

"I can do that." He smiles, climbing in next to me. "I don't think I'll be leaving any time soon… However there is a lot we need to talk about."

Reaching out I grasp his hand and play with his thick fingers. "What do you want to know?" I ask him softly. I can't help but enjoy having him next to me. I don't care about the time spent apart or the tension that still lingers. Just the fact that he's finally here seems to be enough for me for now.

Rolling to his side, he smiles softly at our touching hands, then he brings his eyes to mine. "What kind of cancer do you have?"

"I'm in the second stages of Ovarian Cancer." I answer, rolling away from him. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to see his reaction.

"Please…" His deep gravely voice asks, his finger coming to my chin and making me look at him. "Don't do that. Please don't shut me out anymore."

"Have you ever thought of having any more kids?" Yeah it's out of left field and the look on his face tells me that he didn't understand what I was asking.

"I don't know, darlin'…" He answers honestly. "You and I've never talked about it. It hasn't been something that I thought about. We had each other and that was enough for me…maybe one day we might be able to."

"I can't…" I blurt turning my face away from him yet again. "They had to do a total hysterectomy. I'll never be able to carry a child, even if I get better."

"You mean when you get better." He corrects me. "Chey, I don't want you to think like that. You need to stay positive. We'll make sure that you get the best care money can buy. I'm not letting you go again darlin'."

"I don't… I don't think you should stay, Mark."

"What? Why?" He asks sitting upright and looking down at me.

Facing him, I let out a heavy sigh. "Look at me, Mark… I mean, take a good look."

"I see you… you are sick and I'm gonna be here for you from here on out…"

"No… Mark, I don't think you should. You still have a healthy life. You should try to find someone else to love. Someone that can keep their promises to you."

Reaching out, Mark grasps the thin sliver chain around my neck and pulls it from the top of my night gown. The dainty engagement ring he had given me emerging from the material and swinging freely from the necklace. "I do believe you are keeping a part of your promise." His voice is soft as he stares at the ring. "It may take time, and it may be a battle, but you can keep the rest of those promises too."

"I wish you could understand how I feel on the inside. My terror at knowing that you are willing to sacrifice your life to sit around and wait for mine… especially when it isn't guaranteed. I don't want you to do that. I can't let you do that."

"What about what I feel on the inside? How about the fear I feel at thinking that there is a possibility that you will slip away in the night and I won't be able to tell you how much I love you. That you will be laying alone in a bed with no one around you to make you feel safe." Standing from the bed, Mark began to pace. Fresh tears falling from his eyes. "I don't want to be angry with you if it comes to that… and if you won't let me be here I know that is what will happen. I'll feel as though everything we've shared meant nothing.

"Three years, Cheyenne… three years of having this woman in my life. Day in and day out she was there. I'd wake up and touch her face thinking that… in that moment I'd never be able to love her more… The next day I would realize I was wrong, that I did love her more. That with each passing day my life became more about YOU than it did about me. For the first time I was not being selfish. In all my years, something meant more to me… than me."

Sitting up on the bed, I wipe at the tears flowing down my face. Everything he said struck home. Right to the heart. He had never opened up to me like this before. Even during his proposal, when he had been down on one knee swearing he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, he never used these words. He never gave me this much power. This much thought. At least I didn't think he did. "Even now?" I ask, now regretting what I had done.

"Especially now…" He tells me moving to kneel beside the bed. Taking up my hand he brings his other hand up to my face. "I'm angry… sure, but I've learned in the past few years that some things can be fixed. That love can heal all wounds."

Looking at him, I try and find my Mark… The Mark I had left sleeping in the hotel the morning I had left. My man that believed in being strong above all else and would refuse to show all of this to me. Would never in a million say these things to me. This guy before me looks a lot like the man I had fallen in love with, but he wasn't talking like the man that I knew.

"What's wrong?"

Chuckling, I bring a hand up to my head. "Who are you?"


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N so yeah I'm waiting on death threats. This is another chapter. and if you keep your fingers crossed I could have another one out shortly. Please Review and let me know what you think. _

_Stacy_

* * *

Chapter 11

The next morning I awoke feeling a little more rejuvenated than I thought possible. Then I remember how I had spent the day before laying in Mark's arms. Every time I had awoken from a sweaty bout of chills and fever he would always be there. Cool cloth in hand, wiping at the beads of perspiration as it formed on my face and arms.

Rolling over, I find myself looking next to me to see if he is there and growing disappointed when all I find is the empty white linens. Had it all been a dream? Had I been longing so much to have him there that I conjured him up? Or had it been Glen and in my medicinal induced state I pictured it being the one person I wanted him to be?

I can hear heavy footsteps pound their way up the wooden staircase outside my door, and I sit up in excitement. Is it Mark or Glen? In my heart I am praying for Mark to come back to me, but as the door comes open my heart sinks as Glen struggles to make his way through the door with a tray in his hands.

"Mornin' Princess." He greats me cheerfully when he looks up and sees me sitting up in the bed.

Slumping down in the comfort of my covers, I tuck them around me and make room for the lap tray he is bringing in and sigh. "Morning." I answer him in a low voice, as I raise arms up so he can set the small table over my legs.

Not even bothering to look up at him, I pick up the spoon and dip it into the oatmeal he had brought be for breakfast. I want to ask him if Mark had been here. I need to know if it had all been a dream. Could the medication cause me to hallucinate?

"Hey now, what's wrong?" He asks me sitting down on the end of the bed at my feet.

Shrugging my shoulders, I drop the spoon into the bowl and push it away and lean back against the headboard. I don't want to tell him that I am disappointed that he is the one that walked through my door. I can't explain to him that I am happy that he dropped everything in his life for a week to come and help me, but yet it isn't him that I want to see. It wouldn't be right.

I hear him sigh, and I close my eyes and lean my head back. I don't know what to think of the situation. I don't know how to handle my own feelings anymore. I had been happy the day before when Mark talked to me. It had been so easy to be with him after he had poured his heart out to me, but I don't know if it was real. In my heart it had been everything that I needed to make me feel like it could be worth it, and yet it ended to so quickly. Too quickly.

"Mark left this morning…" Glen blurts out to me. Opening my eyes I lift my head and stare at him. "We talked a lot yesterday while you were sleeping. Chey, I don't know what to tell you."

I watch as Glen raises a hand and rubs it absently over the stubble on his shaven head. What does he mean that he left? That he doesn't know what to tell me? I'm confused and I don't know what to say… Mark told me several times that he wasn't going to let me go again. He kept telling me over and over that he loved me. What happened?

Licking my dry lips, I swallow hard at the lump that is trying to form in my throat. "Where did he go?" I choke.

Shaking his head, Glen jumps up from the bed and moves to the window. His silence is disconcerting. "I don't know… At first I thought he was going to be OK. I have no idea what changed, but sometime in the night he just left."

Nodding my head, I feel myself grow numb. I had told him several times that I didn't think he needed to be there. That it would be better off for him to not see me like this. He had argued with me, but now I think that he might have realized how right I had been. That sometime during the day while he had been caring for me he must have come to the conclusion that he couldn't see me go through this.

Looking over his shoulder at me, Glen's eyes meet mine. I can see his fear and his worry for me in their hazel depths. "He didn't leave a note or nothing… I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I tell him flatly. "I asked him to go."

Reaching out, I pick up the tray and hold it out to him to take. I find that I am no longer hungry and I wait patiently as he collects himself and comes over. "Why would you do that?" He asks me as he lifts the tray out of my hands. " I figured you guys would work things out."

Throwing back the covers I fight to think of something other than the fact that I had lost him again. This time I don't know why. I wasn't the one that walked away this time. Why would he come here and say such magical and wonderful things to me, only to turn around and leave while I slept? Why would he be the one that made promises only to break them in the blink of an eye.

Stopping short from standing up it hit me. It is over. As much as seeing him yesterday had changed my mind about him being with me during this time, I had already ended the relationship for us. I DID this. I could not blame him for his decision. I made it for him when I walked away first.

Swiping angrily at the tears that I didn't know had fallen, I stand up from the side of the bed and glance quickly at Glen before my emotions bring me to my knees. I feel Glen's strong arms wrap around me and pull my body against him. His soft soothing voice whispering to me as he rocks me.

"W-why is it when I want him gone, he shows up and wh-when I want him to stay he leaves?" I ask brokenly, the last of my words barely coming out in a whisper.

"I have no idea." Glen answers, his voice thick with his own emotions. "You should know by now, Princess that Mark does things in his own time. He doesn't realize the communication that needs to go along with his actions."

"I love him, Glen…I really do." I admit pushing away from him and wiping at my wet face. "He said such beautiful things to me yesterday, I just need to understand why he would do that and leave me."

Reaching out, he cups my face in his palm and wipes at the salty streaks on my cheek, his eyes holding a strong look of concern. "I hate to say this, but I'm sure he had his reasons. Chey, above all else Mark is a man of pride. I'm sure he can comprehend why you left him in the first place now, but think of how hard it's gotta be for him to look at you and face all of those feelings he'd had in the past few months… overnight.

"I know he loves you." He continues with a sad sigh. "I've grown to love you like a sister and even with that love it's taken me a few days to forgive you and understand. Just give him time."

Pouting at him with a shake of my head, I know and feel in my heart that he's right. Above all else Glen has always been a voice of reason in my mind. Anytime something's gone wrong I've always turned to his and Marti's voices in my head. They've always done right by me and now is no different, but my heart just isn't so sure. "I hope your right, Glen… It just better not take him too long."

Sitting back away from him, I lean against the side of the bed and blow out a heavy breath and turn my head to face the clock. Reading it's numbers I realize that I should be getting ready for my treatment, however for the first time in years I feel myself grow rebellious, like I'd rather skip it like I used to skip school in the old days when I just didn't feel like dealing with my teachers shit.

Glen must've seen the clock too, because before I know it he's on his feet and tugging on my hands to follow. "Time to get ready to go." He tells me as he finally gets me up.

Shaking my head at him, I release his hands and plop back down on the bed and pull the covers over me. "I'm not going…" I inform him matter-of-factly and close my eyes behind the white sheet.

"Yes you are." Suddenly the blankets are torn off the bed and he is grasping my arm in an effort to get me moving.

Snatching my arm back, I glare at him angrily. "No. I'm not." The words hissing between my clenched teeth.

"Why wouldn't you go?"

Looking up at him, it's all I can do to keep from scratching his eyes out at having the gall to even ask me that. "I am tired of it Glen! I am tired of finally getting some strength back only to go and be hooked up to an IV and being injected with something that is supposed to be making me better and yet all I feel is worse!" I huff at him and move to the other side of the bed. "I am so sick of people poking and prodding at me like I'm some kind of experiment. I'm fucking human and yet all everyone can see, including myself, is a walking cancer stick."

Jumping from him when he reaches out for me, I feel my anger grow. "I want my fucking life back. I want to wrestle again. I want my friends back. I want to be able to have the choice where kids are concerned. No more dizzy spells. No more puking all fuckin' night long. I am finished with this shit… Do you hear me? FINISHED!"

Storming from the room, I hear a string of curses flow from him and I opt not to care. Why should I? No one has thought about what all of this has been doing to me. Instead, it's been about how everyone else has been feeling. Well, I am done with that now. I am going to continue to make myself happy one way or another. If that means that I will end up like the guy from the movie "Dying Young" then so be it.

"GET you ass back here, Chey!"

The angry tone in Glen's voice breaks my mental tirade and I feel myself stop and look up at him before I completely make it down the stairs. His face is unreadable. A mask of anger and sternness like he won't accept anything less than my utter compliance, but again I am not having it and I smirk at him. "Fuck you, Glen." The words fall flat, as I continue to storm through the house.

"What the HELL!" He screams at me before his heavily weighted steps follow me. "What has gotten into you? First you are all tears and wanting to understand Mark and now you are taking everything out on me… I don't deserve this, Chey, and if you think for one second I'm going to stand here and take it you're dead wrong."

Spinning on my heal, I can't help but glare at him. "See that is where you get out easy isn't? It would take nothing for you to just step out of my life. I would LOVE to do that right about now. To walk away and act like none of this his happening to me or around me… but I can't. See this is MY reality, Glen."

"I would loathe every step I'd have to take out that door, Chey. It wouldn't be something I would want, but damn it I'll not stand here and watch you turn your back on life!"

"It's not life I'm turning my back on, Glen… It's what it's taking to keep my life that I'm turning my back on. It's the fact that to keep me well, I'm having to get sicker. Don't you see, it SO isn't worth it. If I won't be able to enjoy my life once this is over, what's the use in trying? What friends I had surely hate me. We know Mark isn't coming back… SO tell me GLEN, what's there to fight for?"

His mouth falls open like he wants to say something to me, but he closes it back and I laugh scornfully at his lack of words. "My point exactly." I tell him, turning again and heading out of the house.

"You didn't prove a damn thing, Chey." His voice barks behind me once I reach the driveway and I didn't even hear him following me. Spinning around, I come face to face with his chest. Peering up into his angry red face I can see his nostrils flaring in his attempt to stay calm. "The only thing that you've come even close to showing me… is how truly fuckin' stubborn you can be."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." I growl at him and turn getting into the passenger side of the van. It took him just a minute, but then he realized what I'd done and what I'd been waiting on and he got into the van and started it up.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N- As always thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. To know that you all have fallen as in love with these characters as I have means the world... Please continue to let me know if I'm getting it right.   
Thanks  
Stacy_

* * *

On arriving at the clinic, Glen and I walk silently toward my room. We haven't spoken to each other since the outburst at the house, but who can blame either one of us? I have a reason to be angry at the world and he has a reason to be angry with me for taking it out on him. I know he didn't deserve that, but damn it, nothing has seemed fair to me since I was told that I would be battling this disease.

My whole life has been turned upside down. I had thought that once I found Mark and we found love in each other that my prayers had been answered. That my life would finally have purpose. That all the trials and tribulations that I had gone through in the early stages of my life, would have made me strong enough to be able to have a man like Mark and be able to keep him there.

It all steams around me.

Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make all of this happen? Did my wanting to walk away turn everything on its axle? Did I choose the wrong path once I had been told that the reasons I had been in pain was because of a disease? Could I have possibly been wrong to wish that the pain and sickness had been something else?

Climbing into my hospital bed, I plug my ears with the earphones of my I-pod and skip through to find the Celtic music I had stored for times such as these. Times where my mind and heart were so confused that I didn't know if I was coming or going. Times where I can't seem to bring my life into focus. Something about the songs have always calmed my spirit and taken me away from my life, if even for the short time that they played.

Not long after I have gotten myself comfortable do I look up and find Mary bustling into the room. After she sends a warm smile my way, I lay silently and watch as she and Glen talk amongst themselves. I do however thank the good graces of God that I can't hear their conversation as Mary peers over her shoulder at me and offers me a sad smile.

Glancing over at Glen, a huge wave of guilt washes over me at the lost look in his eyes as he continues to speak to Mary. Why did I have to be so angry with him this morning? Why did I lash out at him, like it was him that had made all of this happen to me?

Rolling onto my side, I close my eyes, trying to find a way to calm the thoughts that rush through my mind. All of the questions and the degrading that is going on inside making me feel like I'm going crazy, pulling me in so many different directions. I almost feel as if there are so many paths to life laid out before me that my soul doesn't know which way to go anymore. Life. Death. Mark. Family. Friends. Wrestling.

A light tap on my arm brings my eyes open, and Mary is leaning down to get eye level with me. Rolling out my left arm, I pull the sleeve of my pajama top up my arm to allow her to get to my veins. With another smile she preps me for the medication and I move so that I am now laying flat on my back and regretting that I had even gotten in the van in the first place.

* * *

Laying on my side, in a ball, I fight the feeling of nausea that is trying to wash over me. I feel as though something is wrong. I have never gotten sick before my treatments are over, but today it's different. The flames of red hot pain are swirling low in my abdomen. My body is already shaking and clammy.

Bolting upright, I watch Glen jump up from his seat next to the bed as I pull the earphones from my ears with one hand and cover my mouth with the other. He acts fast and grabs a nearby trashcan and places it next to the bed and me and allows me to wretch. His free hand trying to help me by rubbing small circles on my back, but all it's doing is annoying the hell out of me.

Wiping my mouth, I jerk away from him and shake my head. "Something's wrong…" I tell him, laying down to clutch my stomach. "Get… Mary."

I don't know how long I lay there shivering before Mary and the doctor rush into the room. The whole place seems to be spinning so fast and I can hear their muffled voices, but I can't seem to make myself concentrate on what they are actually saying. Time seems to move in slow motion as they begin to pull the IV from my arm and start moving quickly around the room.

Feeling the bile in my throat again I move to hang off the side of the bed and grab the waste basket and my stomach lurches hard. I can feel something cool on the back of my neck and the soft cool touch of a hand on the side of my face and I welcome the feeling. I'm on fire. My whole body feeling like I've been left to burn alive at the stake.

Suddenly, I'm being wheeled out of my room and I roll weakly over to glance up at Mary, taking note of the passing overhead lights as I mentally plead with her to help me. Her eyes cast down to me, their warm depth looking worried and scared. Licking my lips, I offer her a weak smile just as another wave of sickness is trying to wash over me.

Clenching my eyes closed I pray. Pray to God to not take me yet. I'm not ready. There are so many more things that I want to do with my life and I know before it is my time, I want the chance to beg for Mark's forgiveness. I need to see Marti smile one last time, and I have to feel the happiness of being surrounded by the one's I love again. Now is not the time that I want to go.

* * *

Opening my eyes, I glance around the room, the white sterile atmosphere reminding me that I haven't taken care of myself. Rotating my head I see Glen laid back in a chair, his head titled back and his mouth hanging open. A giggle escapes me at the sight of him before I can stop it.

The sound of my laugh had to rouse the sleeping giant next to me cause the next thing I know he is laying a hand on my arm. "Are you feeling ok?" He asks his voice thick from the sleep he had been in.

Nodding my head, I realize that I do feel a lot better than I thought I could given the circumstances. "Surprisingly… yes." I admit to him, laying my head back against the pillows again. "How about you? You didn't look very comfortable sleeping like that."

Shaking his head, he palms his face and rubs his eyes. "I'll be fine."

"OK, Glen… now tell me another one so I don't feel so guilty." I snort at him, disbelieving that he is trying to make light of his own care after what had just happened to me.

"I don't care if you feel guilty, Chey. You know me better than that." He claims, looking at me seriously. "You scared the hell out of me… Marti and Beth asked me here to be your nurse. I'm actually pissed at myself that I didn't do better at my job."

Waving his statement off, I move to my side so that I can look at him. "I did this. Not you. Not Marti. Not Mark. ME… It had to be me that made the decision to not eat when I knew that it was required to keep my strength up so that an episode like this doesn't happen. No one can force me to do anything…"

When he doesn't say anything I let the words keep coming. "I'm out of excuses, Glen… I have no more fingers to point around at the reasons of why this is happening. I'm tired. I'm weak. I've lost more weight, and my hair is gone…yet I'm alive. That means something right?"

"Where is this coming from?" He asks me, his face looking even more lost than it did when we had fought and when he was talking to Mary.

Sighing, I shake my head and reach out, touching his arm. Needing the warmth and security that came with having someone near. "I don't know… I guess this has scared me enough to actually make me think of what this is REALLY doing to everyone else around me. I tried to make this illness all about me, but after seeing what it's done to Marti and Beth, Mark and you… I've decided that I don't like the person I've become in all of this."

"I can't say that I think she is as great as the old Chey, but I think it's because you are searching your way through this in your own way."

"Gee, Thanks, Glen." Rolling my eyes, I push myself onto my back and look up at the ceiling tiles.

"Not like that… From the moment I arrived back at the house and took one look at you, I could tell your spirit was gone… Your eyes haven't been as bright and your laugh hasn't had the effect on me it once did." He tells me honestly.

"I always imagined that one day life would just fall into place for me. I guess you're right in that I've been trying like hell to chose my own path instead of letting the fates handle it for me." I admit to him. "Everyday that I've opened my eyes and realized that I was still here, I've wanted to take back control of my life. I've wanted to be able to decide… Does that make any sense to you?"

"Yes… and I think that you now know that you can't." He tells me his hand curling around my fingers. "Things would be so much better if you could though."

"Yeah, I'd be checking myself out of this damn place and jogging back to the house to pack a bag to go find Mark." I laugh, squeezing his hand tighter and looking over at him. "Do you think I'll ever see him again?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll see him again. He isn't that easy to get rid of." Glen tells me, a smile widening his cheeks.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N- Yeah I suck, I know. But if you only knew... LOL I won't bore you with exuses as to why it's taken me so long to update, I'll just say that I hope you are still with me and that you will continue to let me know what you think.  
You guys are the best.  
Stacy_

* * *

Sitting alone in my hospital room, I lay silently staring up at the ceiling tiles and listening to the machines working around me. It's the first time in months that I can recall being alone and it's the first time that I can say that I'm thankful for it. Glen hasn't left my side since I had been admitted and Marti and Beth had blown into town not long after themselves, and having the three of them come at me at once, has proven to have gotten on my last nerve.

It has been several months since I had been told about the cancer, and since then I've depended on other people to keep my mind from running away with me. If there has ever been a time when I couldn't stop dwelling on the thought that I was going to die or that life wasn't worth living anymore, I would find a way to either lash out or latch onto the few people I've allowed around me.

While I'm looking back now, I don't know how Marti, Beth or Glen has done it. All the countless hours of having to tend to my every need. Hell, they all pretty much have put their lives on hold to take care of me…

"Morning Cheyenne…" Dr. Mitchell's voice booms as he enters the room, his face wide with a gleaming smile as he approaches the bed. "How are you doing today, young lady?"

Smiling at him, I plant my hands on either side of me and push myself up and tilt my head from side to side. "Better… I'm just glad the nurses are on break." I laugh and fold my hands into my lap.

Nodding his head he sits himself at the end of my bed and pulls out a manila folder making my insides summersault. What now? "Well, hopefully I'm about to make you a little better."

Sighing I look down at the folder in his lap and shake my head. "I don't know, Doc… I'm feeling really unsure right now." I tell him honestly. "The sight of folders tend to make me queasy."

Laughing he opens the folder and eyes the contents inside and glances back at me. "I know we've talked a lot about the type of cancer you have. And I've told you that once we find the best treatment for you that we can stop it in it's tracks…" Suddenly, I feel my heart stop before coming back with a vengeance in my chest and I'm finding it hard to breathe. "Cheyenne, I can't say that you're in remission right now. Cause you aren't. The tests we ran on you at the beginning of the week came back today and everything is where I hoped it would be."

"What does this mean?" I ask him. "How much longer before we know for sure that I've beat this thing?"

Patting my leg he stands, just as Marti, Beth and Glen come into the room. "From where I'm standing I say that we've got about another week of IV treatments then we can switch you to the pills you and I discussed at our initial meeting. I have to tell you though that I will be going in today to gather up some tissue for testing. It is a simple procedure, but a little more invasive than what you're used to. We will be using a local anesthetic as well as some of that other groovy medication you liked so well."

Nodding my head, I feel like I've gone outside of myself. I can't help but wonder if I may be dreaming. He did say that we are almost clear right? Looking up at the questioning faces of my friends, I blink to bring them into focus before turning back to Dr. Mitchell. "So… I'm almost done?"

Smiling softly he looks to the trio standing by the door before turning back to me. "You've been battling hard for a little longer than I had hoped already, Cheyenne, and through trial and error we are moving in the right direction."

Glancing back up to Marti, Beth and Glenn I watch their faces as they take in what the doctor just told me and can see the information sink in while they look between me and Dr. Mitchell.

"She's is in the clear then?" Marti asks quickly stepping further into the room. "Is that what I just heard?"

"Almost… As you heard me say, we're going to go for another week of the IV treatments and then we are switching to the pills for the final go. The test I'm going to perform today will let me know for sure if she is going to have to come back periodically for more extensive radiation."

Laughing, I sink back into the bed and let his words soak in. I'm going to get better. After weeks of not knowing if I would survive or not, I now know that I'm on the road to recovery and I don't know how to feel about it. I've known people that had to battle for years with their cancers. They were stuck in a world of sickness until they either gave up or all of a sudden they were told they were cured. I just knew that despite the fact that everyone has told me that the survival rate has been high in Ovarian cancer, that I would be the one that wouldn't make it. That my case would be rare and that they wouldn't know what to do for it.

Feeling a hand on my leg, I shake myself out of my daze and peer up into the face of my doctor. "The test today shouldn't be too bad… I just want to keep you overnight to make sure that you're discomfort is minimal."

"Thank you…" I tell him softly, swallowing hard at the lump that had jumped up into my throat.

Watching Dr. Mitchell nod to the others in the room and walk out, I look up at my friends and let the tears fall as my head drops back onto the pillow. The sense of relief is so overwhelming I can't seem to put it all together. I want to laugh, scream and run through the halls. I can't wait to get my life back. To grab a hold of all the dreams I had come to think would never come true and never let them go.

"Cheyenne!" I hear Beth squeal and then there are arms around me. Surrounding me in a cocoon of warmth and I can't hold it together any longer. I grab onto anything I can get my hands on, curl my fingers around it painfully and let the emotions go. All the fears. All the pain. All the worry. Flooding out of me.

The visions that my mind send me now are the opposite of when I had found out about it. I can see myself with my friends, I can see myself growing old and making my dreams come true. Nothing seems more important than the hope of life inside me now. Not even the thoughts of apologies and people that are going to be angry with me for distancing myself. Not even the thought that Mark won't forgive me or that I will be able to accept him back. Everything is now possible and I don't care how I have to do it, but I will live to make that happen. I will fight to bring the relationships together, no matter how long it takes. I will find my way back into my old life.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N- I am somewhat back on track with this story and I'm working on it as I post this... Next chapter should be coming soon. Thanks to my two favorite BETA's Jay and Egypt for always keeping my head up with this story. Emotion was something I didn't think I could capture until I began writing this tale. To have some of the people that I look up to the most letting me know that I'm getting it right, means the world to me. Thank you for those whom have followed me and keep me going. Phoenix, I'm glad that everything is good. I'm so glad that you feel that I'm hitting my mark with this seeing as you've been there from the beginning.  
Everyone else you know the drill... R&R  
Thanks  
Stacy_

* * *

"Cheyenne!" Marti's voice calls up through the stairs at me as I am busying myself with yet another game of solitaire. 

"WHAT?" I scream back at him hoping that he can tell that he is being annoying with his constant pestering of me.

"PHONE!" He bellows this time, his voice high pitched and careening toward sounding like an agitating teenaged boy.

Grumbling under my breath at him I place my laptop on the bed beside me and reach over to take the phone from it's cradle and bring it slowly to my ear. "Hello?"

Sitting for a few seconds I listen to the silence on the other end of the line wondering what was going on. Who would ask for me then hesitate to answer?

"Hello, Princess…" Came the deep reply from a voice I hadn't heard in months.

Smiling, I lay back in the bed and laugh. "John Cena…" I sigh once I get my laughter under control. "How have you been?"

"Good. Good." He chuckles. "What about you? You doin OK?"

Frowning slightly, I lean to my side and pick at a piece of lint on the bedspread next to me and try to push the familiar feelings of distance aside. I had only been home a few days when I had mentioned to Marti that I was thinking of getting back into contact with Vince and letting him tell everyone what had been happening with me. I had no idea that he had went on with the idea of doing exactly that. "Much better… thanks."

I can hear him sigh on the other end of the line and I know that he is probably full of questions that need answering, and I just hope that I am strong enough to grasp what is most likely left of our friendship. "I'm really glad to hear it."

His simple reply sends me into overdrive. I can tell he is holding back and I dread the fact that I know everyone is going to be more distant with me than they ever have been. That my decision and the reason for my decision is going to make everyone scared of what they can and cannot say.

Never, not once since my meeting most of the wrestlers had that ever been the case. From the moment I had been introduced to the family, I had become a member. There was nothing I could hide. Nothing I did went un-noticed. I didn't want to hide back then. I didn't feel the need to. My life had just been picking up and I had been intent on living it the best way I could.

"Yeah…" I breath into the phone after a moment. "I've really missed you guys." I finally tell him, in hopes that he could read between the lines and begin to open up to me. To get him to say what exactly was on his mind.

"We didn't know what was going on, Chey…" His voice drops off and I know he's searching for the best way to say things.

"I asked Vince to keep it from you." I tell him honestly, squeezing my eyes shut.

Suddenly I feel guilty. Ashamed, of the decision I had made not so long ago. My reasoning then had seemed justified. Now they seem selfish and inconsiderate.

"We know…" He breathes his voice shaking slightly before he coughs. "I'm sorry."

That one word. I had heard it so many times before and it had left a bitter taste in my mouth. I can tell he's upset. I don't know if it's at me or with the news that has been dropped on him, but I know in those two words that I have to make it all better. "For what? John… I'm not happy about the decision I made to keep it from you guys."

"You did what you felt was right."

The resolve in his voice at my answer makes me smile. I hadn't thought of people actually accepting my choice as being ok. I just assumed the moment that I decided to push them away that they would drop me. That they wouldn't take the time to see my side or try to understand. "Yeah, I did. I just don't want everyone to change toward me now, John."

"No… it's just a shock to most of us." His voice told me through the receiver. "Vince called a meeting and went over a bunch of up and coming events he is working on with creative. We never knew what was going on with you, he just said that you had something to take care of and then today he said that he had gotten the call that things were looking up for you. When he said… it threw us all."

He didn't say it. Or couldn't. I can't be sure. With John, I could always look into his bluer than blue eyes and know what he was feeling even if his voice didn't let on to his emotions. It's like they are the link to his soul. "It threw me too when I heard it." I admit to him. "So many things ran through my mind I couldn't make heads or tails of it all… but I gotta tell ya, that it teaches ya something about life."

"It's too short." He agrees with me.

Nodding, I swallow hard and fight the emotions that are threatening to shake me. If nothing else, I have to be strong. I can't let them see me hurt. "That too…"

"I hate to bring this up at a time like this, Chey… but, how's Mark?"

Sucking in a breath, my confusion on that topic grows. For the past three years that one name has been a constant in my life and yet since I had last seen him, I've tried everything in my power to put him on the back burner. I decided the day that he walked out, that because of me, I had lost the only good thing in my life to something I had no control over. I didn't know at the time that, that was myself.

"I don't know, John… I haven't seen him in a few weeks." I answer him honestly.

"That's kinda hard to believe."

Switching the phone to my other ear I sit up and wrap my arms around my knees. "It is for me too… I love him, John. I just don't know how to fix this with him and me. I've always been proud of the fact that I could communicate with him and when this happened… it stopped."

"Ya know, Mark and I aren't the closest of friends. We have respect for one another because of the business, but if there is one thing I know… that man love's the hell out of you."

Sighing, I wonder. "I'm not sure that love will be enough this time. There was so much… and I just don't know."

"Well, if there is anything I, or any of us, can do for you… just call. Vince said that you are getting better and that's good to hear. Just don't give up on Mark just yet… The big man can be stubborn sometimes, but he'll come around."

Smiling into the phone I let him take me back through the memories of my life before. The one thing that I want more than anything to get back. Hearing his voice and knowing that even though he may not be happy about my decision, but that he might be willing to try and understand gives me even more hope than I had before.

I had thought that my world stopped spinning months ago, but talking to John let me know that I just got off the ride for a while. That the rollercoaster kept right on going even when my car jumped off the track for a bit, and I take comfort in the feeling that my friends have just been waiting on me to join them again. That like me they missed the times we have together in the journey.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N- Well, here we are again... Another update. Well it seems I am moving forward. Hopefully you guy will be happy with the next turn of events... I'm still working on getting this one out for you guys. As always let me know what you think_

Stacy

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Wiping a stiff hand over my bald head, I bend down and pick up the box that I've kept hidden in the back of my closet and carry it to the bed. I had pulled the box out a few times during the last few months, but now it seems to have much more meaning. This time, I'm contemplating my journey back into life. 

"Watcha doin', princess?" Marti's voice beaks the silence of the room, his head poking in through the crack in the door.

Looking down at the box then back up to him I smile and sit down on the end of the bed and reach a hand inside. "Have you heard from Mark at all?" I ask him as I pull a frame from the box and place it in my lap, my fingers gliding over the picture inside.

Sighing, he takes a few more steps into the room and rubs a hand over the back of his neck, his frustration evident in the lines on his face. "No… I haven't talked to him in a while."

Nodding, I reach back into the box and pull out a few of his personal items and run my fingers over them lovingly. "I've missed him, Marti." I sigh letting my mind take me back. Back to the feel of his skin. The sound of his voice. The way it felt to lay in his arms.

I have tried everything to forget about those things during the worst part of my sickness. I didn't need to have him plaguing my mind as I did everything in my power to take care of me, and yet I couldn't fully block him out. He remained constantly in the back of my mind. There has never been a day that didn't pass that I wouldn't find myself thinking about him.

"I know." Marti admitted sitting down next to me and wrapping his arms around me. "I don't know what he was thinking when he left like he did…"

"I told him to go, Marti…" I cut him off. "I pushed him to do what ever it is that he felt he needed to do. I needed him that day more than I've wanted to admit…"

"Don't do it, Cheyenne." Standing, he began to pace in front of me. "Please don't try and make me believe that you pushed him to the point where he left with no word…"

"Someone knows where he is." I tell him as I reach out and grab his arm causing him to stop. "He never goes far without telling someone how to reach him."

Shaking his head, Marti stares sideways at the floor. "I used to be the friend that he would tell things like that too… "

Smiling, I stand up and put the items I had taken out of the box back in their resting place and take Marti's hand. "I know that I changed all that, but I also know that there is someone that he will always go to, no matter what happens." I remind him, pulling him from the room.

"What's gotten into you, princess?" Marti argues pulling on his hand. "You shouldn't be doing this, not now. You aren't completely in the clear yet and God knows you aren't strong enough for this shit."

"I may not be today or tomorrow, but the time is coming for me to get my life back." Letting go of his hand I turn and make my way toward the top of the steps. " I only have one more test left to make sure that I'm clean… I don't know why, but I feel that it will be what I want to hear."

Opening his mouth to argue, I take the first few steps before holding up my hand to stop his arguments. "I remember a few years ago a friend of mine came to me and said that he felt Mark and I were meant to be… I can only hope that that friend is willing to understand why I feel the way I do now."

Bounding down the steps, I walk happily into the kitchen and lean against Glen as he sits at the counter drinking a glass of lemonade. Looking over at me, he smirks and swallows his mouthful and wipes a hand over his mouth. "What's with the cat that ate the canary look?"

Shaking my head I bump him with my shoulder. "Where's Mark?" I ask him, stepping back to stare into his hazel eyes.

Glen's face drops as he looks from the glass in his hands then back at me. "I have no idea…"

Rolling my eyes, I walk around the counter to face him on the other side, my eyes narrowing at him as I take him on. "Liar… Now let me try this again. Where- is -Mark?"

Shifting on his stool, Glen looks back at Marti as he enters the kitchen behind him. "How am I supposed to know, Chey? He left without a word."

Clearing my throat, I lean down on the counter and take his lemonade from him swallowing down half the drink before sliding him back the glass. "OK… Then let me put it like this… Three years with that man, I know him like the back of my hand. I know for a fact that he would never run off without someone knowing where he is. Most of the time it's the two of you. Funny, how now that he doesn't want me to know where he is, both of you are acting dumb. I'm not stupid boys. ONE of you know where I can find him… Either you tell me, or I'll find him on my own."

"Now, Chey…"

The tone of Marti's voice irritates me suddenly. I feel as if he is trying to take his fatherly role a little more deeper than I can allow. Rolling my eyes I face him. "What? Are you going to go on about me not doing this again? Are you going to tell me that if he wanted me to find him that I would know where he is already?" Chuckling indignantly I look both of them in the eye. "Thing is… He's told someone. Someone that would be able to find him, get in touch with him. Fill him in on the goings on. Thing is… who's going to be man enough to tell me?"

Looking between both men, I can see them fighting to keep from looking at each other. This tells me that they both know that I know what I'm talking about. Like with me, I have watched them, learned them, through the years of our friendships and I know them almost as well as I know myself and this game of who will slip first is starting to get on my last nerve.

"I don't know where he is exactly, but I can get into contact with him." Glen admits through his teeth.

Glancing at him, I can see the muscle on the side of his jaw twitching. Smiling, I make my way over to his side and wrap my arm around his wide shoulders. Well, I guess the best thing for you to do now… is find out where he is hiding."

"Chey… seeing you like that has done something to him." Marti tells me shortly after making me look up at him suspiciously. "I know. I lied. I've talked to him, but his head isn't in a good place right now…"

"Yeah, well neither is mine, but if there is one thing I've learned from all this is that life is too damn short for what if's. I made a promise to him and now that I know I can keep it… I intend to fight for it with everything I have." Moving around the room, I walk over toward the sink and look out across the property. "It would kill me more to know that I am the reason he has given up. That because I almost did he can't face life anymore. I can't do that to us."

Turning back to the guys, I offer them a small smile before standing in front of Glen again. "You told me not to give up while I was sick. Said that you wouldn't let me walk away from life. Mark is my life… Can't you see that I never fully lived until he and I were together?"

Swallowing hard, Glen nods and peers up at me. "He's staying in his cabin in Colorado."

Jumping with excitement I run to Glen and wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss his cheek. "How long has he planned to be there?"

Shrugging he looks at his empty glass and twirls it in his big hands. "He said he is trying to find… something. He isn't the same, Chey. I don't know what to tell you."

"Marti? What do you know?" I ask quickly, hoping that maybe he had had one of his infamous talks with him

"The same… He was pretty torn up about all of it. I don't know what you'll find of him when we get there." He tells me matter-of-factly.

Pulling away from Glen, I place my hands on my hips and look at them both. "What do you mean we?"


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N- This story is drawing to a close... I don't want to say how many chapters are left, but I do hope that you will all be pleased with this chapter. It's been a long hard road for Cheyenne and Mark and I hope that I did this justice. It's a long chapter cause there was so much that needed to be said and I hope that you will all agree with the outcome. This was extremely emotional for me as I have grown to love these characters.  
BIG thank you to my friend DreamingEgypt for Co-writting this one with me. She helped provide me with the feel I needed to make this come out all right. Also to the QueenofKaos herself for helping me when I got stuck in a few places. You are both very inspirational women to me and I cannot thank you enough.  
Please Review  
Stacy_

_ps- I re-post to fix the ungodly amount of errors that I had obviously over looked. blushes Sorry._

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I can honestly say that when Glen and Marti set their minds to something it's a real bitch to get them to divert to something else, but as I walk through the airport in Colorado I find myself wishing that I brought at least one of them with me. I have no idea what I plan to say to Mark when I see him. I don't even know if I will be able to find him in his little hide-a-way.

Glen had told me to be prepared for the worse, so did Marti, but I can't help but think back to our time together and think that they're wrong. In his arms I felt so whole. Complete. I never could get enough of him staring at me with his green green eyes. The intensity in which he would lock onto me and hold me cradled in their depths while he told me of his day or his thoughts on this or that.

And Mark never went a day without telling me that he loved me. There were times when I could've mistaken the hasty way in which he said it and taken it out of context, but the fact was that if it ever happened, he made sure that he'd make up for it in some special way later. He'd hide a note in one of my bags or he'd plan an evening of just us time.

So, why am I shaking now? There seems to be a steady hum of both fear and excitement running through me. It's been flowing through me since Marti and Glen dropped me off at the airport and the closer I've gotten to reaching him the stronger it gets.

Grabbing my luggage, I weave my way over toward the rental car area and give the guy behind the counter my confirmation number. Minutes seem to tick by as I wait for him to pull up the information, have me sign all the necessary paperwork, and show me to the Jeep Wrangler that had been reserved for me in the lot.

Thanking him quickly, I load up my bags in the passenger seat and adjust the mirrors. Taking a brief moment to make sure my wig had, in fact, not decided to move during my long flight, I put the jeep in gear and make my way away from the airport in search of Mark.

Glen and Marti warned me that the drive up into the mountains would be long and tedious. Even with the sketchy map that Glen had decided to draw and the few directions we had pulled from the internet, I can say that they might have been right. The long winding roads reminding me of the trip I had taken alone a few months prior.

When I had first realized that something was wrong, I can't remember why I'd decided to keep it to myself instead of going to someone. The pain in my lower abdomen as well as the slight discomfort when having sex, should have sent up warning bells to me long before they had… but I guess I didn't want to believe that it was serious. I had planned on continuing down my happy path and to forget about everything else, but when my Pap smear had come back abnormal, there was no pretending anymore. It had been just a matter of time before it all came to a head.

That last visit with Dr. Rice had been the straw that broke the camels back for me. Life as I knew it was over. Nothing I could have said or done at that moment could've brought it back for me. Instead, I tried to run. Run away from the reality of the Cancer. Run away from all the things that made me feel safe and wanted in this world. I never wanted anyone to see me the way that I am now.

The chemo is over… but all the symptoms still linger. My hair is still gone. My body still hasn't decided that it wants to eat the things that I've tried to put in it. I've lost more weight and I still feel exhausted. Dr. Mitchell told me after the last test that I am going to need radiation for a while. That the pills I had been taking just weren't enough by themselves as he had hoped. Does that mean that there is still a chance that my life will end? Or am I still on the path of recovery?

Pulling off the main highway, I pull down a long dirt road. I've been on the road for at least an hour and I can feel my body growing tired, but I refuse to drop until I do what I came all this way to do. I've tried and tried to push Mark from my mind. Tried to tell myself that he would be better off without me. I never once thought of what my decision would do to me in turn. I hate my life without him. I don't like the feeling of missing half of myself that I carry with me throughout the day. I know that I need him and I can only hope that he will understand and that we can move past this mistake that I've made.

Mashing the break, I see the fork in the road that Glen had told me about and my stomach knots up. To the left is where he'll be. What will he be doing? Will he be happy to see me? Will he take one look at me and send me packing? I hadn't thought of his reaction to me showing up on his doorstep.

Turning the wheel, I allow the jeep to roll slowly into the driveway that I had been told was Mark's. The road is bumpy and trees line either side of the narrow path. Coming into the clearing, I notice Mark's bike sitting in front of a rustic looking log cabin, a thick layer of road dust covering the once shining machine.

Pulling up next the bike, I check my wig once more and climb from the cab slowly, checking out the dense area in which the cabin lay. The open space is only wide enough for the cabin and maybe another car or two, but beyond that… you can't see much through the thick vines and trees that surround the area.

Hearing footsteps coming from the side of the building, my feet seem to root me to the spot as Mark's big body emerges from the side, a heavy axe in his hand as he looks me over. His face looks drawn like he hadn't slept in days and he's looking at me as if he isn't sure what to do.

Running my hands nervously over my jeans I lift my hand and give him a brief wave. "Hi." I greet him softly, my voice cracking.

Leaning the axe against the side of the cabin he blinks at me a few times. "What're you doin' here, Chey?" He asks me, his deep voice sounding tired.

"Lookin' for you." I smile as I close the distance between myself and his bike, running my fingers through the thin layer of dirt covering it.

Looking up at him, I see him watching my fingers trail through the brownish colored dust. "Haven't been out in a while."

Nodding my head, I glance back to the bike and then back up at him. "Whatcha doing out here?" I ask watching him shift and put his hands on his hips.

"Thinkin'…"

Moving closer to him, I feel as if I am talking to a stranger. He won't make eye contact with me and he is keeping his answers short. What have I done? "You about done?" I ask him in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Sighing hard, Mark shakes his head. "Didn't think I was no..."

Biting at the insides of my lips, I nod my head at him as if I understand. However, on the inside I'm screaming at him to open up. To not shut me out like he's doing. "Care to talk about it?"

"Not really..."

Turning, he makes his way up the few short steps of the cabin and I rush forward to grasp his arm. "Mark.. Wait." I plead with him, not wanting him to walk away from me this way. What happened to the man that left me in my room after caring for me all day? Where are the words of love and understanding?

Stiffening a bit, he turns halfway back to me and fixes me with icy eyes. "Why'd you come out here huh? I didn't tell you about this place for a reason."

His voice is colder than it has ever been with me. The man before me is the stranger my friends warned me about, but I know deep down that the man I had fallen in love with is inside and I am wanting to talk to him. Not the person with me now. "What's that supposed to mean?" I ask him as I swallow hard at the lump that is trying to creep up my throat.

"Doesn't mean a thing darlin...not a damn thing." He answers, pulling out of my grip and strait arming the front door to the cabin, stomping through it and leaving me to stare at his back.

The hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand as I realize that he is pushing me away. Growling in my frustration I throw open the door to the cottage and go after him. "I didn't tell you where I was... didn't stop you from coming after me either did it?!" I yell at him making him stop in his tracks.

"I had to see if it was true."

Crossing my arms under my chest, I continue to glare at his back and watch as he kicks at an uneven stack of fire wood, not even bothering to look at me. "If what was true?"

My question has him turning his intense green gaze on me and yet I don't see any of the kindness that they used to hold for me. "You were hidin' from me Chey. I had no idea what the hell was goin' on but I had to see if you were really just...there." Pausing he takes a deep breath and flicks his fingers over his bearded chin. "Never mind what I found you hidin' when I got there."

"I told you I did it cause I didn't want you to watch me die..." I tell him softly. "You told me you would be there for me..."

"And you told me to go..."

Nodding, I sigh and scan the floor before looking back up at him. "I know... I regret it more now than you'll ever know." I admit to him as my eyes begin to burn from the tears I am blinking back.

"Only reason I left is because you didn't want me there baby girl." Clearing his throat he turns away from me, the muscles in his jaw working over time.

I hate the pain that I see in him. I hate the fact that I'm about to say the two words that I've heard so many times in the past few months, but I know that I have to say them no matter how much they've lost their meaning for me… it might mean something to him. "I'm sorry, Mark... I know I hurt you, but it hurt me to say it." I sniff, cuffing a few tears off my cheeks.

Tilting his head back, he rolls and pops his neck before speaking again to me again. "What'd...what'd I do to make you think I couldn't handle this?"

Sucking in a breath, I roll my eyes and my hands lift and drop to my sides as I release it. "You didn't do anything... I just felt that you deserved the happiness that I promised you that night you proposed. I didn't want you to end up losing someone else."

"So you get to decide what's best for me now?" His voice is soft as he knuckles the corner of his eye.

"No... no... I..." Shaking my head, I try to wrap my brain around what I felt at the time as well as what is best for him to hear. "I decided for everyone...I made the mistake of thinking I was protecting the people I love from seeing me in a way that I hated. It was about me, Mark, not you." I inform him as I reach for him.

Taking a small step back, his eyes are on my hand. "I woke up and you were just...gone..."

Pulling my hand back slowly, I take a deep breath and look around the cabin at the things that Mark has surrounded himself with. I had never known he had a cabin let alone the items that he had to fill the small space. I thought he and I had shared everything with each other, but then again I have not given him any hope as of late, so again this is my fault. "I know... When I left the doctors that morning…I couldn't think. You called while I was leaving and I… I couldn't bare the thought of telling you the news after I'd agreed to marry you the night before. I drove for hours trying to get my head on strait."

"You shoulda come home." His voice is soft and almost not audible to me.

Pursing my lips together, I turn and face him fully. "I thought if I were to die that you-you wouldn't have to deal with the misery of losing me right before your eyes. I couldn't stand the thought of what that would do to you."

"Did it ever occur to you that I'd want every minute I had with you?"

"Honestly... No." Admitting it was like a fist to the gut, but he had asked and I felt that he deserved to know the truth. "I could only think of saving you from the pain I knew I was going to have to endure. Everyone told me to give you the choice and I shut them out... "

Chuckling ruefully he eyes me hard with his green, green eyes. "Didn't shut out Marti...or Glen. Just me..."

Sighing hard, I turn away from him and walk over to a nearby table, leaning my butt against it. He's right. I didn't shut out Marti, but Marti and I have something that is entirely different from our relationship. "I know it's not an excuse, but Marti is like my father... I needed the strength I've always seen in him. Glen... well Glen was sorta forced into the picture against my will."

His dismissive snort brings my face up so that I can stare into his face. I see something etched out into his features that I hadn't seen in years and I can see that he didn't like something I had said. "Yeah..." He barks and heads for the kitchen.

Thinking over my words, I realize that he is supposed to be my strength. That I had been extremely wrong in my argument. That I had again resulted to looking for the right things to say instead of the truth. Strength has always been something he prided himself on having, and for me to say that I looked for it in someone else must've been a slap to the face. "Look I'm not saying you aren't strong…" I reason, following the path he had taken into the kitchen. "Damn it, you've always been a rock in our relationship. Hell, I didn't shut you out when you showed up..."

Leaning his hip against the sink he drops his head before turning toward me again. "NO… you sent me away again!"

I didn't even have time to react as he picks up a glass then throws it against a wall causing me to jump away from him, but I now know I'm getting somewhere with him finally… "Tell me what you saw that day, Mark!" I demand, my voice rising to a screeching pitch even to my own ears. "While you were wiping the sweat from my body and holding me through the tremors... what did that do to you? HUH?"

Balling his fits at his sides he stalks over to me and leans over me making me shrink back. "I saw you...in...fucking...pain! I wanted to help you, to hold you Chey! And I did whether or not you remember it. And you sent me away again!" Being nose to nose with him I see his lips curl into a snarl before he pulls back and shakes his head at me and paces back toward the sink. "Leavin that night nearly killed me but you made it clear enough that you didn't want me there."

"I remember it..." I admit softly. "The next morning I was upset that you were gone and everyone told me they didn't know where you went... It killed me inside. I thought about giving up cause you didn't fight me like you always have..."

Shaking his head incredulously, he raises a hand to stop me. "You didn't exactly make any bones about it. You wanted me gone. Since that's what you wanted, it's what I did. Don't you dare tell me I should've known better."

"No, I can't say that you should've known better." Exhaling a long breath I lean against the counter for support. "God, Mark it's been so fuckin' tough... But, I've learned that life is too short for all this. I need you..." The look in his eyes at my admission brings me to stand before him and repeat my words. "I-need-you."

The look on his face as he stares down at me has me wondering if my words have finally driven him over the edge or if he is just in shock over hearing me say the three words he's longed to hear since he left the house that night. Suddenly his eyes begin to water and he draws his lips tight over his teeth. "I've needed you this whole time. I needed you to need me Chey..."

Smiling up at him I let the tears fall freely down my face. "I have needed you... Everyday. I tried to push you out of my mind, but no matter what I did there you were holding me through it all."

Sighing hard, Mark shakes his head and crushes my body against his chest, shocking me and elating me in one swift movement. "God I've missed you..." He breathes into my hair.

Heaving out a breath of happiness from being in his arms again I allow the emotions that had been building inside me go. All the pain. All the worry, working it's way through my body in sobs. "Can you still love me if I'm broken?" I manage to ask through my heavy gulps.

"For better, for worse baby girl...It's part of those vows we were supposed to take remember?" He asks me as he takes a shuddering breath. "But God don't you push me away again. I can't take it. I can't..."

Breathing in his scent I shake my head against his chest feeling myself calm at his words. "So you'll still love me if I'm bald and can't have babies?"

Pushing me away from his chest, Mark reaches up slowly and touches a lock of the wigs hair and then he smoothes his hand over it. I can see the question in his eyes as his fingers come around my head following the prominent line of the wig until he slowly pushes it from my scalp and leans in to kiss the skin he reveals. "Don't matter. None of that matters..." His voice is soft against the smooth skin, his lips continuously pressing to my head.

Pulling him to me I'm overwhelmed by his actions and I squeeze him as tight as I can trying to climb inside of him. Needing to find sanctuary in his warmth. "I'm so sorry... I love you... I've never stopped loving you for a second." I gush.

"I thought I did somethin..." He admits taking a deep breath and wrapping his arms around me again. "I thought you changed your mind about me."

"God no... Since that day you dropped to your knees and asked me to help you.. Everything's been perfect. Except for me." Dropping my arms I step back from him and bring a hand up to cover my baldness.

Smirking he drops one of his large hands on top of mine. "It's...kinda cute..."

I can feel my face flame at the compliment and I shake my head. "Glen makes fun of it's shape..."

Wiping at his eyes a bit he reaches out and takes my cranium into both of his hands with a slight chuckle. "Kinda bulbous but still cute..."

Shaking my head, I swat at him playfully. "HE told you!" I exclaim, thinking of all the times Glen had used that exact word on me.

"Told me what?" Mark asks holding out an arm to block my attack.

Pouting, I try hard to fight the smile of happiness that is still trying to curl my lips. "HE said I look like a lightbulb."

Backing away from me a little he gives my head a serious once over and shrugs. "Well...at least it's round."

Like a switch my happiness is cut short as I peer up into his familiar face. I can see the weight of the situation has been lifted from him and I grin as I step up to him and cup his cheeks. He is so alive. I can see my reflection in his eyes again and it let's me know that after every thing…I have finally made it home again… yet there is still a dark cloud in my heart. "Kiss me and tell me it's going to be ok."

Tilting my head up a bit further, Mark leans down and he plants a soft, sweet kiss on me. "It's gonna be okay Chey..." He assures me in his no-nonsense voice, his arms coming around to encase me.

Inside the security of his warmth, I wish that what he is telling me is true. I want so much to be able to get him to understand the severity of what I've been going through and still going through… and my happy reunion ends and the tears start all over again. "It's not over, Mark... I'm not in remission."

"Don't matter. You will be..." He tells me, squeezing my shoulders tighter. "I need you with me..."

Shaking against the fact that I know I still have a fight in front of me, I think of all the things that had drove me from him in the first place. "I'm scared." I admit, my voice sounding small and childlike.

Crouching down, Mark lifts me from my feet cradling me against his chest. His face is set and his eyes solemn. "We'll go through it together. That's all there is to it. It's all I wanted from the minute I found out you were sick."

"You know I love you, right?" I ask him as I lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck.

Nudging my forehead with his nose, he nods. "I love you too baby girl..."


	17. Chapter 17Epilog

_A/N So here it is folks... The end. I wasn't sure how much more of this story there could be... but in my eyes it was the struggle of bringing Mark and Chey back to a place where they could again be on the same page. Life sometimes throws you curves and you never know how you are going to handle them. This was Chey's way. This was Mark's way. I just told it from their perspectives. Once they where together again... Things got quiet. I listened for them. Begged them to talk. It wasn't until today that Chey finally stepped forward. She gave me the ending. I was told to hug her and let go. So that is what I'm doing. To all of you that have read and reviewed. Thank you. All of you. This was a hard one to write. Really hard. I don't wanna say goodbye... but I have no choice.  
Stacy

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Epilog_

Looking up to the stage I smile with pride as I meet Glen's eye, his heavy timber speaking, with conviction, of a man that I had grown to love. He is telling stories of his time spent in travel, of a friendship that had been born out of respect more than anything else.

Tearing my gaze away from Glen, I take the opportunity to look in the seats around me. My friends scattered in the chairs around the large theatre. Their faces glued to the solemn face of Glen as he continues with his outpouring of words for a man that everyone was looking forward to seeing.

Feeling a warm hand grasp mine from my lap, I look over into the smiling faces of Sara and her daughters. I can see the tears brimming in their eyes at the emotional impact of the night.

"… SO it is my pleasure, to induct into this year's Hall of Fame… my brother… my friend…. The Undertaker…"

Jumping up from our seats, Sara and myself grasp each other tightly as Mark's music hits and his tall body lumbers onto the stage. His all back tuxedo tailor made and fitting him well as he takes his plaque and holds it up to the audience cheering him on. His face is proud and stern as he looks everyone over, raising his fist in the air while his eyes travel up to the fans screaming from the rows behind us.

Adjusting the black bandana on his head he sets his trophy on the stand before him and stares at it with a shake of his head. "For a guy who spent the bulk of his career telling people to rest in PEACE, I'm kinda nervous." He admits softly bending low to speak into the chest high microphone.

Pursing my lips together, I think of the conversation that I had with him in the hotel room while we were getting ready. He was still in awe of the fact that Vince wanted to honor him so soon after his retirement. He didn't want to think of himself as being finished, or even deserving of the title just yet… Let alone the fact that any kind of speeches, especially out of character, in front of a large crowd made him stumble over his words and twitch.

Scratching the side of his nose, he chuckles softly. "Seventeen years…" He sighs and looks back at Glen then his eyes roam back over the crowd and land on me. "Man, I'm not sure what to say to this. I've only known two things to be constant in my life… My daughters and wrestling."

Looking over to his girls, I smile at them softly and reach across Sara's lap to hold their hands. It took us a while, but somewhere along the road I had found a relationship with the two of them. A friendship that helped ease Mark into knowing that our union was ok with them. Now I consider the girls a part of me and my life, like they're almost as much mine as they are Sara's and Mark's.

"You lay everything you have on the line for this business. Your health, your family… To have been in this company for seventeen years, I think it says a lot." Smirking he looks down at his plaque then allows his eyes to scan the restless crowd sitting behind the talent and their families. "I can honestly say that it was my yard. Beyond the politics and the shows, everything about that squared circle belonged to me. I know I've said that I was going to hang onto that yard until other dog came into the yard and bit me on the ass and kicked me out of it… but there was no way I could wait that long." He laughs as his eyes come back to me.

Mouthing the words 'I love you' to him, I watch him bring his hand up and rub his heart for me. That was our sign. No matter what was going on in the match, when he rubbed a hand over his heart I knew that he had been thinking of me. He in his own way was letting me know that he loved me.

"Out of everything, to me this induction won't mean a thing unless the fans…" The sections behind us grew loud. Fans asking for one more match. "I want all of you to know that I gave everything I had… mind, body and spirit to entertain you. Everything was so that you could leave a show and know that you'd seen a phenomenal match and that when all was said and done… I had nothing left in me to give."

Warm tears fall from my eyes as I watch the man I love, shed his outer shell, and talk to the fans the way he has always wanted to. His entire career he's wanted to know that the people that paid to get their asses in the seats were happy. He gave so much of himself physically and emotionally… that I doubt they will ever know what he went through for them.

Two failed marriages later though, I won't be unhappy. Seeing the pride on my husbands face is enough. Knowing that the yard he is speaking of now has not only broken him down, but it brought us together. It made me strong enough to face something I thought I'd never live through. It helped him forget about the things he did lose to follow his dream. All in all… wrestling is Mark. His life would mean nothing without it.

As Mark finishes his speech, I stand from my chair next to Sara and his girls and cheer for him. Glancing over my shoulder I can't help but smile at the fans as they go ballistic for him. He has had such an impact on wrestling and on me that I know he has achieved everything he's set out to do.

That thought brings me back to when I went in search for him at his cabin. That day I realized how much I had tried to take away from him. After I woke up from my nap, I remember rolling over and seeing his tired face next to me. His lashes fanned out across his cheeks. He had never been so at peace. He was sleeping so soundly, a hand resting on my bald head protectively. When I had wiggled under his touch, his eyes had come open slowly and he gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen in my life. He told me then that he will always be there for me. That he will never let me go again.

And he hasn't.

From that moment forward he has been right by my side. He went to the chemo treatments with me. Followed me through radiation. Helped me walk into the building so that I could see our friends again. No matter what he wouldn't let me give up. I'm glad he was there though… Cause life just wouldn't be as sweet.


End file.
